Page 66 of A Sea of Unspoken Things

He didn’t blink, meeting my eyes in a way that told me he meant what he’d said. And he knew that he was right about all of it. Johnny had protected me, but I’d spentmywhole life protecting him, too. I didn’t know how to not do that. I didn’t know how to not be that person anymore.

Micah stood there, phone still in hand. He waited patiently for me to nod, and then he dialed. We stood there as it rang, and when he spoke again, the baritone of his voice bellowed in the room.

“Hey, Amelia, it’s Micah.” He paused. “Sorry for the late call, but I need to talk to you.”

Twenty-Two

It was the middle of the night and all was dark downtown except for the glowing window of Amelia’s office. She sat behind the desk, looking between me and Micah. We were standing only inches apart, but I could feel the canyon that stretched between us. We’d ripped open the seams of a years-old wound, and it didn’t matter how much time had passed, it would never heal. I was beginning to understand that now.

The idea that Johnny might be involved in something that happened to Autumn was the most sickening, terrifying feeling I’d ever felt. I didn’t want to believe that he was capable of getting involved with her. But if there were rumors going around and he knew that Micah wasn’t going to have his back, what would he have done? What lengths would he have gone to if he was backed into a corner?

“I need you to start from the beginning, James.” Amelia’s tone was even and measured.

The laid-back soccer mom I’d spoken to on the street a few days ago was gone now, replaced by a cool, collected law enforcement officer who was ready to start combing through a story. The last hourhad triggered her instincts, and she was no longer hiding the fact that she was suspicious. Of all of us.

I strung together the events in my mind before I spoke, trying to arrange them in sequential order. I didn’t know how to explain it all, especially when I didn’t have all the pieces. And I didn’t want to say anything about Johnny that I wasn’t absolutely sure about.

“When you gave me Johnny’s things the day I got here, there was a roll of film in his pocket.” I decided to start there.

She nodded. “Yes, I remember it.”

“The date he’d written on the canister was November tenth. A couple of days before he died. When I developed the film, this photo was on it.”

I set the photograph of the backpack down on her desk. That moment in the darkroom immediately came back to me. The sense that Johnny was there in the shadows. The sound of my name being whispered in his voice. Is this what he’d been trying to tell me?

“It’s Autumn Fischer’s backpack,” I said.

“This is why you were asking if I thought anyone was out there with him? Because you think Autumn was?”

“That’s what I thought at first, so I tried to track her down to find out. I wanted to ask if she saw anything or knew anything about what happened that day. But Autumn isn’t in San Francisco. She never was. I got in contact with her roommate at school, and she said Autumn never arrived for fall semester. Her tuition was paid, her housing set up. She just never showed.”

Amelia’s countenance shifted, her shoulders tensing. “But that was in August. This photo is from November?”

I nodded. “I think Johnny must have found it out there when he was working. I talked to Ben, and he says he hasn’t heard from Autumn since she left, either. When Johnny got back from the gorge, he was trying to reach her.”

Amelia’s eyes dropped to the open backpack. The waterlogged wallet and cracked phone were placed in front of her, Autumn’s licensetaken from the sleeve. It was obvious by looking at her things that they’d been out in the forest for a long time. Autumn had been missing for months, and no one had known. Not even Johnny.

“There was also a call to you,” I added. “Do you remember talking to him?”

Amelia sucked in her bottom lip, as if trying to decide what she was willing to tell me. “I had a message from Johnny when I got back from Parker’s soccer tournament in Redding.”

“Do you remember what the message said?”

“Nothing particularly alarming. He just asked me to call him as soon as I got back, and I did. But Johnny was already back out at the gorge.” Amelia turned her attention on Micah. “He didn’t say anything to you about it?”

“We weren’t really on speaking terms, which had to do with Autumn. I don’t think he would have come to me about it.”

“What do you mean it had to do with Autumn?”

Micah glanced at me, as if asking for permission before he really came clean. This time, I didn’t try to stop him.

“I had some concerns. People in town were talking, and when I tried to ask to him about it, it didn’t go well. I warned him that he should stay away from her.”

“Why would you feel the need to tell him to stay away from her?” She was testing him now, poking at the unspoken implication.

“I thought they were getting too close,” he said, simply. “I was worried that people were misinterpreting their relationship. Jumping to conclusions.”

That was as close as he was going to come to accusing Johnny, especially when he had no proof.