Page 55 of Coach Sully

She furrows her brow. “You don’t have to.”

Yes I do. There’s no way I’ll keep my hands to myself. It was hard enough sleeping next to her at the hotel. I’m sticking to my vow: I won’t sleep with her until she’s ready to give us a shot. If I give in tonight, the false hope will be crushing when she fights me on it tomorrow. Something I know she will do—but I’m not going to think about that I’m letting myself have this moment.

“It’s not a good idea… At least not until we talk about everything. Let’s just watch the movie.”

We have a lot to discuss.

Ihaven’t felt this at peace since… well, since our last night together, but he won’t share a bed with me, and it takes getting lost in this movie to not obsess over it. He probably hates it as much as me, but he’s respecting my boundaries and my career with the production company. We’re still attracted to each other, and I treasure that little nugget as I lean into him.

When we’re the only two people in the room, we might as well be the only two people in the world. I turn into a puddle of vulnerability around him. Sully is my ultimate weakness.

My phone dings, and I glance down to see a text from Raleigh.

Raleigh

Hope you’re not mad I let him in, you both needed each other tonight. How is it going?

It’s going well. You were right. Thank you. Text tomorrow?

Raleigh

You better.

What is he going to say tomorrow? He kissed my neck earlier. That’s more than just friends, right? He bought me flowers—he remembered I like fresh flowers. What am I even doing right now with him? Playing pretend? Shit, I can’t do a movie now. His touch is conflicting with his words, and I can’t think about anything but us.

I grab the remote and pause the film.

“I want to go ahead and have that discussion now.”

“We can talk tomorrow, Kendra. Let’s enjoy tonight.”

I shake my head. “No, it needs to happen now.” If he’s doing all this only for us to have it ripped away later, then I don’t want him to spend the night. It’s toying with my feelings.

He withdraws his arm from around me and angles his body toward mine. “Okay,” he says, sighing. We stare at each other. I’m not sure where to start. Sully pushes up the sleeves of his white Henley. What we’re about to discuss is the kind of mess you have to roll your sleeves up for. His corded forearms are tense. It’s not a fair fight… He looks as nervous as me.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I never planned to keep it a secret forever, but I had no idea how to tell you.”

He nods. “I forgive you. I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you. You seemed distant. I should have pressed you to find out what was going on.”

“Every time I thought about telling you, I thought about the impact it would have on our careers—”

“This is more important than a career.”

I take a deep breath. “It’s easy to say that when you’ve had a career. You’re a retired hockey player. I didn’t know how you were going to react. If it went badly, my career was the only thing that was going to get me through, the only thing that would allow me to keep this baby. I need this job to take care of a baby.”

He crosses his arms. “What did you think I was going to say? Fuck you, you’re on your own?”

“I had no idea what you would say! Our first night together you told me I was the only one you wanted to call you daddy. We’re shooting a show with you dating other women, a show that is critical to your head coach contract. This baby could take all of that away. We already chose our careers over the possibility of a relationship. I was going to tell you.”

“And what if I met someone on the show? You thought it was a good idea for me to fall in love before dropping the bomb that you’re having my child? Then what?”Is that what’s happening?Is he becoming serious with someone? “I call bullshit.” He shakes his head. “I’m sure those things helped justify your decision to keep it to yourself. But it’s not enough.”

“I was scared!” I shout, rising to my feet.

“Why, Kendra?” His voice is calm. I feel like I’m being interrogated. It’s not like this has been an easy secret to keep.

I throw my arms out to the side. “What do you mean why?!” Pretty sure it’s obvious.

His eyes narrow in my direction. “Did you seriously think I would reject you?”