Page 76 of Coach Sully
I adjust us so she’s leaning her back on my chest rather than the seat and rub my index finger over the tiny hand that’s clutching my girl’s dress strap. Pressing a kiss to Kendra’s temple, I wrap an arm around her and the little bundle she’s cuddling. My chin rests on her shoulder, the one facing away from Arthur and Sue.
“I was watching you and Darby from inside,” I mutter. “Couldn’t help but wonder what you were thinking. Does holding a baby make it feel more real?”
She grins. “I thought it was going to be weird, but it doesn’t feel awkward.”
I nod. “I can tell, you make it look natural. Like you’ve done it a hundred times before. You’re going to be so good at this.”
“Yeah?” she says. “I think there’s a lot I don’t know. I’m going to screw something up.”
I chuckle. “We both will. I think that’s part of it.”
She hums agreement and combs her fingers through Darby’s white-blonde curls. “Are you nervous?” she asks.
“Terrified… but I don’t think there’s any first-time parent who isn’t.”
“True,” she agrees.
“I’m also excited.” I don’t want her to think that just because I’m nervous, I’m not thrilled to be starting a family with her. It may not be the way either of us envisioned our journey going, but I regret none of it. Darby moves her mouth as if she’s eatingin her sleep. I wonder what Bo will look like. Will they look more like her or me or be an equal mix of both of us?
“Damn… We’re having a baby, Kendra.” I squeeze my hand under Darby to rest it on Kendra’s belly.
“What? Since when?” she whispers, panicked, before smiling.
Turning my head, I nip at her neck. “Smartass,” I mutter. “How are you feeling?”
She nods. “Good. Just a little bit of nausea this morning—” I know how her body is feeling, but I want to check in with where her head is at.
“Mentally. How are you doing?”
She sighs. “Scared… I’m also excited, but I’m young, Sully. You were able to focus your whole life, up until this point, on your career. I thought I could do the same. Grind for a few years and work my way up the ladder. When I chose to keep our baby, I knew I was trading it for rungs on that ladder. I won’t be able to climb as high—”
“Kendra—”
“It’s true. They can say women can have it all, but you and I both know that’s not true. I won’t be climbing as high as I would without children.ButI’m at peace with it. I want this baby. I already love them… I just need you to understand motherhood isn’t enough for me. I need to have a career. I want to be creative, I want to make more than just babies. Okay?”
I hurt for her in that way. She’s growing up quickly. Even if she continues working, she’s still sacrificing her dreams. She’s right. Society will likely gift opportunities to those without children. I nod. “I’ll do everything I can to make sure you have the resources you need to keep creating for as long as you desire.”
My phone buzzes with a video call from Whit. I slowly get off the bed, where Kendra is still napping, and creep out toward the living room, gently shutting the door behind me so she doesn’t wake up. Whit knows I’m in Florida, but he doesn’t know it’s with Kendra.
“Hey,” I answer. “Ever try taking a day off?”
“Somebody’s gotta get shit done around here while you’re on vacation.”
“Fair. How’s everything going?” I take a seat on the sofa and listen to him go over some scheduling details for the upcoming season. We’ve got our first game in a couple weeks against Boston.
“How’s the shit with the TV show?”
I sigh. Before we left town, I had three dates in two weeks, and I swear they’re only getting worse.
“Meh. Same old. Just trying to get through the contract.” I don’t get into it. The longer the conversation lasts, the more nervous I become that Kendra will wake up and walk out here. “Well, if that’s all—”
“Do you know where my lotion is?” Suddenly Kendra is right behind me. “I think your Viking baby is already giving me stretch marks—”
I swing my head around at the same time she glances at the phone in my hand. She and Whit are looking at each other.
“Oh my God,” she says, frozen in place.
“One sec,” I tell Whit, setting my phone face-down on the coffee table. I take Kendra’s arm and guide her into the hallway.