Page 111 of Payoff Pitch
“I’m not ashamed, but there’s Harper to consider. She’s attached to me. I would never jeopardize her well-being. There’s no reason for her to know anything right now. It’s still newish and our future is uncertain.”
Not completely the truth, but I’m not getting into a deeper discussion with them about this when I’m not exactly sure what we are myself.
The problem is that she’s not wrong. It’s getting harder and harder to hide. I know he’s said he doesn’t want anything real, but like it or not, we’re real. He must feel it too. Maybe it’s time to talk to Tanner about telling Harper and the world that we’re together.
Dad asks, “And you don’t feel pressured because it’s your job, right? You feel safe?”
I roll my eyes. “Of course, Dad. I made the first move, not him.”
He scrunches his nose in disgust. “I didn’t need to hear that.”
Later that night, Kam and I are in bed together, staring at the ceiling, when she takes my hand in hers. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing? I thought you were just fucking around. I should have known you’d catch real feelings. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
I squeeze her hand in return. “I’ll be okay. Thanks. I’m happier than I’ve ever been with a man in my entire life. There’s something special about the way we click.”
“And the sex?”
I turn toward her and can’t help the smile that creeps onto my lips. “The best of my life. By a mile. He’s kind of a freak in bed. Like BDSM shit, Kam. Can you believe I’m into that?”
“Umm, no, I can’t. Thank fuck you’re finally telling me. I didn’t know what to make of your secrecy.” She turns and smiles at me. “Dad’s going to sit home every night tossing and turning over your safety, meanwhile you’ll be tied up in Tanner’s bed begging him to spank and choke you.”
I burst into laughter. “It’s funny ‘cause it’s true.”
Her face turns a bit more serious. “It’s not your orgasms I’m worried about. It’s your heart. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. You still believe in fairy tales and happily ever afters. I don’t want you to become jaded like me. Hardened. Love is pain. Look at Ripley. She’s a mess.”
“But look at Arizona. She’s living proof that fairy tales happen. That happily ever afters exist.”
“I don’t know any fairy tales that begin with,so…I started banging the father of the kid I babysit.”
“I’m not saying this is my happily ever after, Kam.” Though I’m hopeful. “He’s my happy for now. We’ll see what happens.”
“Okay. I’m here for you. Whatever you need, whenever you need it. You jump, I jump.”
“I know.”
It’s quiet for a moment before she asks, “Do you really call him Daddy?”
I can’t help the smile that finds my lips.
Shefans her face. “Fuck, that’s so hot.”
I bite my lip. “You have no idea. He’s so domineering. He knows how to make me see stars.”
She blows out a breath. “I just want to make sure you’re okay and that we’re not headed toward a disaster. I feel like this might be as dumb as Ben and J Lo not having a prenup.”
I smile at her attempt to lighten the conversation. “No matter what happens with Tanner and me,nothingcan ever possibly be as dumb as Ben and J Lo not having a prenup.”
We giggle as she talks me into giving her a few more details about our sex life.
CHAPTER TWENTY
BAILEY
It’s been a crazy few weeks. Ripley went into premature labor in California. Arizona, Layton, and Quincy have all moved out there for the time being to help her and the baby, who’s currently in the NICU but seems to be headed in the right direction.
Kam and I offered to fly out, but Arizona said they’re only letting family members see the baby and that Ripley will need help once the baby comes home, so we should wait. It could be months before that happens.
The Cougars are down in Florida for their spring training, so those guys haven’t been around. We do hang out with some of the local football players sometimes, but most of my free nights are spent with Tanner. I’ve fallen for him and even though he hasn’t expressed it, I think he’s fallen for me too.