Page 149 of Payoff Pitch
I’m exhausted. Who would have ever thought that walking would be so damn tiring?
For some reason, I don’t feel much progress today. I’m frustrated and it’s showing. My cheerleading squad is yelling for me, trying to encourage me, but it’s a struggle. I want to tell them all to shut up, but I won’t. I know they’re doing this because they care.
With sweat covering my face and body, I make it the last five steps, and they all jump up and down like we just won the championship game. I equal parts appreciate it and find it condescending. I feel like a toddler taking his first steps with his mom and dad standing there cheering.
Kam takes me to shower while everyone else prepares lunch for us. Yes, my sister has to help me shower. Actually, it’s one of the things she and Tanner fight most about. I’ve threatened to have Champ or Ezra shower me if he doesn’t chill out with Kam. That usually gets him to back off.
I have a shower chair that is the bane of my existence. It symbolizes my need for help to do something as simple as cleaning myself. I will cheer the day I can throw that piece of shit out the window. I swear my body has a visceral reaction every time I see it taunting me. I think I’ll have nightmares about it for the rest of my life.
We’re all having lunch together. They’re yapping, and I’m quiet. I feel like today is the first day that I didn’t experience any real progress, and I’m frustrated.
Kam notices. She grabs my hand. “Are you okay?”
I shrug. “It was a tough day. I have nothing to show for it.”
She nods in understanding. “Tomorrow is a new one. Tomorrow will be better.”
I shake my head as tears fill my eyes. “I’m already sick of this shit. I want to run away, but I can’t run. I want to throw everything against the wall, but I can’t even throw properly. I need a fucking straw in my cup because I can’t hold a damn glass of water.”
Her face tightens. “Being negative isn’t the Bailey Hart I know. Don’t be a Karen. Don’t be the person who complains when you order a Diet Coke and the restaurant only carries Diet Pepsi. I hate those people. It fucking tastes the same.”
I start laughing. Hysterically laughing. My sister can make anyone smile. It’s her gift in life.
She leans back in her chair in satisfaction knowing she made me smile. “Bails, you know what attracted me to the sport of softball?”
I shrug. “Because you look cute in the tight pants?”
She lets out a laugh. “Ha. It’s true. My ass looks amazing in those pants. I don’t know why you played basketball. Is there anything more unflattering for a woman than a basketball uniform? Baggy long shorts and an oversized tank top? Whoever designed that combo is a moron. At least tennis, field hockey, and lacrosse have cute skirts. Equestrians all look super-hot in those tight pants. But basketball, ugh.”
Arizona shakes her head in disgust. “I think you just set feminism back fifty years.”
“Maybe, but I’m not wrong.” She turns back to me. “I’m being serious. Why do you think I chose softball?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
“Because it’s the best sport on the planet.”
I roll my eyes.
“No, it is. In no other sport can you fail more than you succeed and still be considered successful. It’s a sport of failure. It’s how you respond to that failure that makes you great. What do you call a professional baseball player who only gets hits three out of every ten times he steps up to the plate?”
“What?”
“A fucking Hall of Famer.”
I think about that for a moment. A .300 batting average is considered elite in professional baseball. She’s right.
She nods her head. “Yep. He failed seven of ten times, and he’s still one of the greatest and sits in the damn Hall of Fame. One ofthe best to ever play the game. It’s been about twenty days since you started PT and you’ve been hitting it out of the park. You just had your first strikeout. Bails, you’re batting, like, .950 right now. So you had an off day. So what? Failure is part of this. Tomorrow you’ll succeed. I have no doubt about it.”
Fallon smiles. “That’s a really healthy way to look at it, Kamryn.” Turning to me, she says, “Your sister is right.” She winks. “Don’t tell Tanner I said that. You’ve been moving at a statistically unheard of pace. There will always be plateau days. You’ve had a crazy run being this far in and it being your first hiccup. There will be more. Stay mentally tough. Tomorrow is a new day.”
I nod. “You guys are both right. Thank you. I appreciate all your support. You all don’t need to be here every day.”
Ripley shakes her head. “There’s nowhere else we’d rather be, Bails. If this happened to any of us, you’d be by our side every step of the way. We won’t stop until you’re Olympics ready. I don’t play on teams that don’t have Bailey Hart on them.”
I blow out a breath. “I just want to walk again. I don’t know if I’ll ever play again, and I certainly don’t know that I’ll play at that level.”
Arizona reaches over and takes my hand. “It’s all four of us or none of us. So unless you want the three of us to sit out the Olympics, you better get your ass in gear, Hart.”