Page 160 of Payoff Pitch
I shake my head. I haven’t.
“He was Tanner’s best friend. They were close since their freshman year of college, and they originally moved to New York together. He was the best man at our wedding. He always had abit of a thing for me, but I laughed it off as harmless flirting. Tanner wasn’t the jealous type over me, and he, too, thought it was innocent.” She pinches her lips together, overcome with emotion before continuing. “I can’t begin to express my feelings of loneliness at the time. I lived in a city with no family and very few friends of my own. After grad school, all my friends moved away from New York. My husband was never around. One night, Tanner and I were supposed to go out to dinner. I was so excited. I planned a whole fun evening and even bought a new dress. I had a babysitter and was standing by the door ready for him to come home and pick me up. He texted that he was caught up and needed to cancel. That was it. A text. At the time we were supposed to be leaving. I was so embarrassed in front of the babysitter that I pretended like he was downstairs waiting, and I left. I took a cab to a place we had been to a million times. Here I was, out at a bar, drowning my sorrows over the state of my marriage, and in walked David. He sat with me and let me cry as he fed me drink after drink. He kept saying things along the lines ofhe’s never realized what he has.I would never treat a woman like you that way. You’re one in a million, Fallon.Before I knew it, we were in an alley around the corner where I let him fuck me against a brick wall.” Her eyes drift away as tears leak from them. She whispers, “I cried the whole time.”
I pull her into my arms. “Oh, Fallon. It sounds like you were forced into it.”
She shakes her head on my shoulder. “No, I knew what I was doing. Was I trashed? Yes, but part of me wanted to hurt Tanner as much as he hurt me. I don’t blame David. Is he a piece of shit for doing that to his best friend? Absolutely. Am I equally a piece of shit for doing that to my husband? One hundred percent.”
She pulls away and wipes her eyes. “I came home, and he was reading some contracts in bed. He didn’t ask me where I was. He didn’t apologize for missing dinner. He didn’t even look at me. Here I was, doing something terrible to our marriage and my husband didn’t care enough to stop reading his damn contracts. Itmade me snap. I’ve never felt more unseen. I first got into the shower and physically scrubbed my body clean until it was red and raw. Then I walked out and scrubbed my conscience clean. I told him what had happened. I think I wanted him to yell and scream at me, to show that he cared, but he didn’t. He calmly got up, got dressed, and went to David’s to beat the shit out of him.” She lets out a laugh. “I think he was more impacted by the end of his friendship than he was by the end of our marriage.”
“I’m so sorry, Fallon. You didn’t deserve any of that.”
She gives me an incredulous look. “Me? You feel sorry forme?Iwas in the wrong.Hewas the victim.”
I shake my head. “I think you were both in the wrong, and you were both victims. Neither of you are bad people. It was an unfortunate situation. Maybe the marriage didn’t work out, but you got Harper out of it. Something wonderful came from it. You shouldn’t regret anything.”
She wipes her eyes. “Christ, you’re like a damn ray of sunshine. Is there any situation where you can’t find the positive?”
I giggle. “I haven’t been feeling very sunshiny and positive the past few months.”
“You’ve handled it with grace. We’re all entitled to our moments.”
“Back at you, Fallon.”
She nods in understanding.
Suddenly realization smacks headfirst into me. “I suppose I now better understand Tanner and why he keeps people at arm’s length.”
“He does. You’ve made a lot of progress with him on that front. Don’t give up on him. Honestly, Bailey, when I see him happy with you, it helps my own recovery. For over half a decade, I’ve carried around this guilt that I ruined his chance at happiness, but he’s happy with you. I want that for him.”
Our conversation leaves me wondering if we can’t one day be more than what we’ve been.
TANNER
I’m standing at the window watching Sulley, Bailey, Fallon, and Harper all happily play basketball on the outdoor court. It’s a little cold out, but it doesn’t seem to bother them at all.
Bailey looks so happy, even though I can see that some movements are still a little off for her. It’s clear she takes joy in playing. She has a great shot. I know she was an all-state basketball player growing up.
Kamryn walks into the kitchen. I turn to her. “You don’t want to play with them?”
She scrunches her face. “Nah. I suck at basketball. That was her thing.”
“Why didn’t she play in college?”
“Because we wanted to play together.” She toggles her head from side to side. “Well, I possibly wanted her to play softball more than she actually wanted to play softball. The prospect of going to separate colleges wasn’t palatable for me. I had to do something about it. She’d be good at any sport. She’s the better athlete of the two of us.”
“As much as it pains me to compliment you, you’re an elite athlete, Kamryn. I’m sure you know that.”
“I have my days, but it’s true that she switched to softball because I begged her to.”
“I’d make a comment about her always doing everything for you, but there’s no denying you’ve been here for her the past three months.”
“I’d do anything for her.”
“I realize that.” I smile. “It’s why I tolerate you.”
“You tolerate me because you’re in love with her.”
“Hmm. I suppose that’s true.”