Page 66 of Payoff Pitch
“Don’t deflect. You weren’t here when I got home. Where were you?”
“Mr. Montgomery was working late. I had to stay with Harper.”
She narrows her eyes. “I don’t know if I believe you. Something is off. I can sense it.” She places her hands together in front of her chest, as if in prayer. “Confess your sins, my child.”
“No, Father, there was no penetration.”
I sleepily giggle at my own joke, but she grabs my arm. “Let me smell your hands. I bet they have daddy cock cream all over them.”
I let out a laugh as I pull my arm away. “No, you freak. Goaway. I need to take Harper to school today. Leave me alone to get ready.”
Arizona and Ripley walk in. Kam nods toward me. “Doesn’t Bails look like she just had sex?”
Arizona pinches her eyebrows together. “With who, her vibrator?”
I give a bemused Arizona the finger and Kam shakes her head. “No, with a certain sexy older man. In pornos, they call older men daddy instead of dad. Do you know why that is?”
I blow out a breath. “God help me. Why?”
“Because he gives the extra D. Is that what you’re getting? A little extra Vitamin D from Daddy Tanner?”
I giggle. “You’re nuts.”
“Are you getting nuts…on your chin?”
Ripley wraps her arms around Kam’s waist and pulls her away, rescuing me. “Leave her alone. Not everyone is as horny as you.”
As she pulls Kam away, she mouths to me, “Did you sleep with him?”
I let a small smile find my lips and wink.
She has a huge grin on her face as she drags Kam out of my room.
I take a quick shower, get dressed, walk out, and see them all sitting at our kitchen table eating donuts along with their now daily dose of pineapples.
After last night, I guess I’m happy with my recent uptick in pineapple intake.
We all usually eat healthily except when Kam is PMSing. She goes even more crazy during that time of the month. She eats everything in sight and acts like a lunatic. We all know to go along with it and not poke the bear. At least it explains her behavior this morning.
I look at her. “Getting your period?”
She makes a sound of disgust. “Ugh. Yes.” She shoves anotherdonut in her mouth. With a full mouth, she garbles, “I can’t stop eating. You know why they call it PMS?”
“Of course I do. It’s an acronym.”
She smiles as she shakes her head. “Nope. Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.”
We all burst out laughing. I shake my head. “Your mind is an endless supply of useless shitake.”
She scowls. “That’s useful.”
I grab a few pineapple slices and Kam lifts an eyebrow. “I bet I know why you need to taste good. Has Daddy Tanner been tasting your…pineapple juice?”
I roll my eyes and sarcastically say, “I truly hate to eat and run, but Tanner asked me to come by this morning to get Harper off to school. He has an early meeting.”
She mumbles, “A meeting? I think this meeting is him using his telescope to explore your black hole.”
“What does that even mean? And why are you all awake?”