Page 94 of Payoff Pitch
My jaw stiffens. How dare she. “I don’t owe you my deepest, darkest secrets, Bailey. We’re fuck buddies. I’ve been clear about that from day one.”
Tears rise in her eyes at my cold words. Ones that pain me to say but I know she needs to hear.
She steels herself. “I know we have no future. You’ve made thatcrystalclear. You’ve asked me to open up, and then you opine on my life. I’m only asking for the same in return.”
I exhale a long breath, feeling like the dick I know I am. “I’m sorry. I honestly feel like I’ve opened up to you morethan most. I’m not ready to give more.”
“Then my personal life is off limits too, including your thoughts on my loving relationship with my sister. I’m sorry you can’t relate to a strong sibling bond, but I won’t apologize for having one with my sister.”
I nod. “Fair enough.”
She tilts her head to the side. “Do you know what it’s like to have someone in your life who you trust one hundred percent? Someone who will have your back no matter what? Who loves you so unconditionally? Who would undoubtedly take a bullet for you?”
I answer the truth. “No. I don’t have that. My brother is a piece of shit. My wife cheated on me. My best—” I stop myself, unwilling to talk about this with her. It’s too much. “No, I’ve learned the hard way that I can only truly rely on myself.”
She shakes her head. “That’s sad, Tanner. I know my sister is a lot to take, but she’s that for me and it’s everything.” She stands. “I think maybe I should go to bed. I don’t want to say anything else I might regret.”
My shoulders fall. “It’s our last night. It’s been a great week. I don’t want it to end like this. Don’t go to bed angry.” I pull her to straddle my lap, pinning her to me when she fights it. “It’s been nice having this time with you. Away from Philly. Away from work. Away from real life. I want to enjoy every second of you that I can get.”
I bend and kiss the spot on her neck that she loves. I whisper, “Don’t pull away. You can hate me tomorrow. Not tonight. I don’t want a wonderful week to end this way.”
She relaxes her body and tentatively wraps her arms around my neck. She’s still mad at me but nods in agreement. “I know. I feel the same. I don’t want to fight with you.”
“I don’t want to fight with you either.” I softly kiss her lips, and then we hear a noise. We both snap our heads toward the open sliding glass door but don’t see anything.
She attempts to pull away, but I hold her tight. “Please stay with me.”
“The girls could come out.”
I wiggle my eyebrows. “They can’t see what’s going on underwater.”
She sighs. “I’m not up for this tonight. I’m sorry.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“Maybe a little. Let me sleep on it.” She pulls away and stands. “I need to call my sister and check in on her. You know, the whole codependency thing. I’ll see you in the morning.”
As she towels off, I grab the glass of whiskey sitting next to me and down it in one go. She stares at me for a second and then looks at the bottle of whiskey sitting on the ledge of the tub. The one that’s nearly empty. “Typical. Go drown your sorrows at the bottom of that.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I challenge.
“You know exactly what it means. When was the last night you didn’t drink?”
I can feel my whole body tense in an instant. “Don’t project your mother’s shit onto me. I’m not an alcoholic. I’ll have a glass or two, not a bottle or two.”
“Do you think she started by drinking two bottles a day? No. It started when she couldn’t get through a single day without a drink, Tanner. Sound familiar?”
I turn around, throw the glass out into the snowy abyss, and then shout, “There. Happy?”
“Good night, Tanner. Maybe you’ll grow up a little by the morning.”
Once I’m alone, I take a deep breath and run my fingers through my hair in frustration. How dare she insinuate that. I’m a fucking grown man. I can have a glass of whiskey in the evenings.
Without even thinking, I grab the bottle and take a long gulp. As I pull it away from my lips, it hits me what I just did. Fuck.
The fact is that Bailey sees right through me in a way no one ever has. She challenges me in a way no one ever has.
I don’t want to lose her. I need to make this right.