Page 15 of Rent: Paid in Full
“I thought I made it clear the other night that I don’t need your charity.”
“Well,” he replies, waving a dismissive hand at me, “if it helps, it’s notmycharity. My dad pays the bill, and he doesn’t give a shit either way. If you have a fetish for doing laundry, fine by me. I’ll leave you to it, but if not, I’ll just send it out when I send mine. Okay?”
The only thing worse than Miller MacAvoy acting like a dick is Miller MacAvoy when he isn’t.
I don’t answer. Instead, I rip the thin plastic bags open and start packing my clothes away, huffing and puffing in annoyance as I do it but taking care not to disturb the perfect pressing they’ve been subjected to. On top of everything else, my clothes smell like Miller’s now. Crisp cedarwood and amber and a gluttonous side-serving of rich boy privilege.
It’s fucking distracting.
He’s fucking distracting too. I seem to be having a reaction to him. A strong one. A bad one. A totally irrational one, given how much I can’t stand him. It’s just that he’s half-naked most ofthe time. His body is hard, taut, and toned, with bulky pecs and biceps clenching and relaxing right in my line of sight. It’s not like I can choose to not see him. He’s right there, a couple of feet away from me. All the time.
All the goddamn time.
I’m trying to stop myself. Believe me, I am. It’s one thing to be curious. I’m fine with that. To me, it seems normal. I mean, who doesn’t wonder what it would be like to be with someone of the same sex. Literally half the population is the same sex as me. How can I possibly rule every single one of them out? Seems unrealistic to me.
While I’m fine with being curious in general, I’m not at all fine with being curious about Miller specifically. I’m the furthest thing from fine about that. Couldn’t be less fine about it if I tried.
When I’ve finished packing away my laundry, he pulls himself up slowly off the bed. Abs clenching, biceps bulging as usual. It’s early March, but he seems to be under the impression it’s mid-summer. In the Sahara. He’s taken to acting like shirtless is not only an option, it’s the expected dress code.
Stop this shit, I warn myself firmly as I drag my eyes off his chest.
“Feeling better?” he says with an over-personal smile.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in business law in ten minutes?”
I’ve had to learn his schedule, so I know when I can safely panic in my own fucking room in private, and even that isn’t foolproof because the guy’s attendance record is in the toilet. Best I can tell, he has friends who take notes for him, and I wouldn’t be surprised to learn he’s one of those pricks who pays others to complete their assignments.
Hmm, wonder how much you make doing assignments for pricks?
No. No, no. Absolutely not.
That goes against everything I stand for.
“Nah, I’m skipping it.”
I look longingly at my bed and then sit at my desk. I’ve been falling behind since I moved in here. It’s impossible to concentrate when Miller’s around. Even when he’s not talking, his presence is…big, for want of a better word. It takes up a lot of space. So much space that my lungs feel crushed, and it’s hard to breathe when he’s around. I’m on edge, overly aware of where he is, what he’s doing, and what he’s going to do next.
He’s still now, sitting on the sofa with a magazine in his hands, reading something that definitely isn’t business law. Even though he’s at my back, I can feel him. Pages flutter as he turns them. His breath saws in and out. I feel him shift his gaze. I feel it as sure as I’d feel it if he reached out and touched me. A warm whisper of skin on skin. Fingertips trailing lightly over my shoulders and down my back.
I spin around accusingly, waiting for him to look away. He doesn’t.
“What are you looking at?”
“You,” he replies as if it should be obvious.
“Why do you keep looking at me like that? I-it isn’t normal. It’s fucking weird.”
He shrugs casually, full lips peeling back into something resembling a smile. Gray eyes as stony as ever. “Just trying to figure it out, I guess.”
“Figure what out?”
“What it is about you that makes you so hot.”
A quick burst of fury flares in my chest and rapidly fades. The sudden spike and drop leaves me feeling deflated and confused. I’m tired. Completely exhausted. I must be because what he’s just said definitely warrants a lot more than a quick burst of anything. It deserves a complete and sustained meltdown.
I scowl at him, using every ounce of my power to make him cower.
He smiles and shrugs again, totally unapologetic. His eyes are on my mouth, slowly tracking down to the hollow at the base of my neck. “Can’t help it.”