Page 66 of Rent: Paid in Full
It’s been a coupleof weeks since the world-class mind fuck that was The Boyfriend Experience. I’d love to say I’ve totally recovered, and in some ways, I have. I’ve only let Miller fuck me twice since then, and both times, it was strictly bent over the desk without any talking whatsoever. I made him pay full price and show me the money before he fucked me. Nice and professional. Clear boundaries and all that.
In other ways, I’ve slipped quite badly. I’ve been letting him blow me whenever he wants. Since I said yes that first time, it’s hard to think of a reason to say no. He comes to the library at some point every day, and if that’s not bad enough, I’ve started taking my morning coffee with a blowie too.
My dick has never been happier.
My mind is clear. My focus is sharp.
I still have a statistics final tomorrow, but I’m ready for it, so I’m rewarding myself with an early night and a little bit of mindless scrolling. I’m pretty sure the rest of my finals have gone well. I can feel it. And that’s saying something because I’m usually one of those people who panics like hell about finals.I’m always absolutely positive I’ve failed everything, but I always end up with good grades.
“Whatcha doin’?” asks Miller in that annoying sing-song way of his. I close my laptop a little too quickly. It gets his attention. His eyebrows shoot up. “Moreresearch?”
He bounds over and bounces onto my bed, landing on his knees as he tries to wrangle my laptop from me.
“It’s nothing, okay? It’s no big deal.”
It’s dumb. I mean, yeah, I’ve been making good money for a while now, but there’s still no way in the world I could afford something like this. It’s fun to think about, but the last thing I want is Miller knowing my business. I hold my laptop shut with both hands, and when he can tell I’m not going to let go willingly, he leans down and runs his tongue along my earlobe. I all but drop the laptop into his hands.
He opens it and enters my password.
Don’t ask how he knows it.
And definitely don’t ask why I haven’t changed it.
“Cars?” He looks idiotically happy, though I know from experience he’d look even happier if there was porn on the screen. “Are you planning on buying a new car? ‘Cause I know a guy. I can hook you up.”
“Um, yeah, thanks, Miller, but I think the kind of budget your guy works with is probably very, very different from mine.” I’m keen to change the subject, not least because the last time I mentioned not being able to afford something in Miller’s presence, I ended up stark naked with my towel on the floor, and just look how that turned out. “You ready for your business law final?”
“Nah, not even a little bit. Business law kind of got away from me this semester.”
By his own admission, his three other subjects have also gotten away from him.
“So,” I say, making an effort to keep my tone breezy, “what do you think will happen if you fail the year outright?”
He looks at me like I’m crazy and does the creepy voice he always does when he’s talking about his dad. “But, Ryan, MacAvoysdon’tfail.”
“But what if you do?”
Shut up. I’m just asking. It’s not like I care.
He looks at me the same way he did the night of our fucked-up fake date. Naked and unsure. Not hiding anything. A beefy shoulder rises and falls. Eye contact doesn’t falter.
“Dunno,” he says softly.
“You could, you could do something else, you know. They have a great architecture program here, or interior design, or…”
“I dunno. Maybe.” He shifts his weight on the bed, the sides of our bodies making contact. “Have you thought about what I said?”
“No.”
“Come on, Ry. At least come and see the place with me. It’s awesome. You’ll love it. It’s spacious and light. Seriously, it’s so big you’ll forget I’m there.”
“Get real. There’s no way. That place is so far out of my budget that it’s a joke. You know damn well there’s no way I can afford it.”
“Mm-hmm.” His eyes flicker and dim. “And you know damn well you can pay rent with your ass.”
I drop my head in my hands and take a long, steadying breath. Sayings about beds, making them, and lying in them come to mind instantly. I do my best to stamp them out.
“How many times do we have to go through this, Miller? I’ve told you, this thing…game, or whatever you call it, it’s over.”Oooh, but, like, I do still want to get head before my final tomorrow. What? It’s no big deal. It clears my head, okay? Ithelps me focus!“I mean, a-as soon as the semester is over, this is done. It’s finished.”