Page 62 of Poetry On Ice

My speech slurs and words run into each other. “Please. Need it. Want it.”

His hand moves down farther, not quite touching, but nearly. His hand is so close to the head of my cock I can feel the disturbance of air when he moves.

There are no words now. They’re gone. They don’t exist anymore. They’ve been replaced by the kind of sounds animals make.

“You know,” he says thoughtfully, “if you weren’t so close to busting, I’d pull your dick back like this”—he curls a hand around the base of my shaft, making it jump, and pulls it back between my legs. It feels strange. I’m not completely sure I knew my dick could bend back like this when it’s so hard. It’s almost good enough. Almost what I need. It’s the stimulation I crave, but not nearly enough of it—“and I’d blow you.”

The thought of Decker’s mouth anywhere near my dick makes me moan and try in vain to say things. I try to saymoreandplease, but my tongue is malfunctioning.

“Yeah, that’s what I’d do. I’d take this pretty cock into my throat and suck it until you come undone… You know what I’d do then?”

“Gguuck,” I say.

It’s not a word, but Decker correctly interprets it as no and takes it upon himself to expand. “I’d swallow it all. I’d swallow every drop you made ’cause you made it for me. ’Cause it’smine.”

I howl and struggle, bunching the sheets in my hands and arching my back, frantic, wanton with need.

“You want this, huh?” He slaps his dick lightly against my hole and my eyes roll back so far I see stars.

“Nnng.”

I didn’t hear him lubing himself up, but he must have because his dick is slick, a thick wet thing that splatters against me. If I could talk, I’d say something like, “Put it in me, you asshole. Now. I want it in my guts. I want it so deep inside me I’ll be able to taste it tomorrow.”

Not want. Need.

I need it.

I fuckingneed it.

I need it so much I start panicking, hyperventilating, and reaching behind me, trying to drag him inside by force if need be. Thank fuck he gets it, he must, because he takes mercy on me.

His head is against my opening, pushing in.Thank fuck.There’s a deep pressure that evaporates as my body gives way. A burn that enters me, stretches my sphincter, and travels up my rectum. Up my spine. Into my brain.

Right from the start, I’m gone. Everywhere and nowhere. Turned inside out. All I know is pleasure. All I know is Decker. His body and mine. He fills me completely. I’m so full I feel him all over. Not just in my ass. I feel him in my hips, in my belly. In my joints. In my face.

He has both hands on my hips, and even in my altered state, I’m dimly aware that he was right. He was gentle with me last time. I was gentle with me last time too. I felt passive lying on my side. I felt like I couldn’t move, like all I could do was take what he gave me.

It’s different now. I’m anything but passive. As soon as I’ve adjusted to his girth, I push myself up, hands balled into fists that fight with the mattress, and I fuck myself on him like there’s no tomorrow. I rock my hips back in time with his thrusts. His cock plunges into me hard and unapologetic, and I take it. I take it and love it. I take everything he has to give me, and I want more. We’re asclose as two men can be, and I want more. More dick. More skin. More Decker.

I don’t just want his body. I want him. I want the sound of his voice. The smell of his neck. I want the way he looked at me in the restaurant and in the car. I want the way he clenches his jaw when he’s pissed at me, and I want the way he smiles at me when he doesn’t know I’m watching him.

I want all that, but in the meantime, I’ll take the deep strokes he’s giving me and the soft, tacky slap of two bodies slamming together.

We keep going until I’m blind, a mindless fuck toy that bucks its hips wildly, anesthetized to anything that isn’t the staggering force of the orgasm gaining on me.

I wait for as long as I can. Until Decker is grunting behind me and his fingers are digging into my hips. Until his thrusts falter and he starts losing his rhythm. Only then do I take my dick in my hand and start jerking.

It’s ecstasy.

Elation.

Instantaneous euphoria I feel in every cell in my body. Pleasure darts from the base of my spine and rips through my cock and balls, erupting out of me with a force that wracks me. Wrecks me. Breaks me. My jaw drops, but no sound comes out. It’s silent, anopen-mouth scream. Then it’s not. Then it’s me and Decker and everything we’ve just made collapsing in on us. A chorus of male voices. A repetitive, aggressive refrain.

My voice then his.

His, then mine.

When I find my way back to my body, I’m stretched out flat on my belly. My legs are splayed out and my face is turned, one side pressed into the mattress. There’s a weight on my back. A heavy mass holding me down. Big hands are in my hair, sweeping it out of my face with a gentleness that makes it hard for me to get air. He’s breathing on me, light puffs of hot air on my neck. He strokes my hair again, the same way as before. My lungs fill with air as the weight of him is removed. Before I have time to protest or complain, he leans down and stamps a sweet, soft kiss on my cheek.