Page 79 of Watching Henry

The only thing she hadn't figured out, was just how she was going to get Florence to talk to her in the first place.

Chapter Thirty Four

Florence took a deep breath and then dialed the number she'd found online.

“This is ARK Financing Corp, how may I direct your call?”

It was time. Time to start facing reality, time to come back to earth, time to stop burying her head in the sand.

“This is Florence Underwood, I'd like to talk to someone about consolidating my debt and approving a payment plan.”

“Just one moment.”

The words had been hard to say but now that she'd said them, she felt immeasurably lighter. She even smiled a little as she looked out of the window at the kids playing on the lawn.

“Hello Ms. Underwood, my name's Carrie and I'd be happy to help you,” said a voice on the other end of the phone.

Florence took one last deep breath and then got started getting her life back on track.

A half hour later she had the beginnings of a financial plan, one that she thought she could handle. She hung up the phone with relief in her heart, then looked down at the children again.

Her finances weren't the only thing she needed to change.

All her life she'd worked toward becoming the traditional idea of a nanny. All her life she'd thought she had a calling. All her life she'd sworn to give up a real life of her own, her own children, her own partner, in order to care for others.

The problem was, now she'd had a taste of something else, she didn't have the same commitment.

The problem was that now, every time she closed her eyes she could see Hadley. Every time she saw a refrigerator she could feel Hadley. Hardly ideal for someone who was supposed to be devoted to others.

She'd been wrong, she saw that now. She saw how inflexible and cold she must have seemed, saw how by reacting to the way she'd been brought up she'd simply swung to the opposite side of the pendulum.

Sharing a job had been a nightmare. From the very first time she'd seen Hadley get out of the cab she'd known that her life was changing, though she hadn't known how. Being co-nannies had been a ridiculous idea from the start.

But it had shown her something.

She'd seen with her own eyes how the kids had responded to both her and Hadley, seen that the balance between the two methods was what was right, what worked.

Which was all very well and good, but as the kids didn't hesitate to tell her, she was boring. There was no way she could become half-Hadley. And perhaps no way that she wanted to.

She put her hand on the glass and watched Henry pick up Emily and carry her around the garden. She'd done good here, there was no denying that. Leaving would be hard, there was no denying that either. Leaving Henry was probably a mistake, especially after he'd just found some kind of stability.

What else was she supposed to do?

She was going to quit. Then, she was going to march into the coffee shop and tell Eleanor that she was on board for as many shifts as she could be scheduled for. That should keep her bills paid for the time being until she figured something else out.

The uncertainty of it, the risk of it, filled her with fear, but she was going to do this.

Because one day, not now, not now because it still hurt too much to think of being touched by anyone other than Hadley, but one day, she might find somebody else. Somebody who balanced her, somebody who would make her feel the way Hadley did.

That seemed like a risk worth taking.

A few weeks, that was all it took. A few weeks and one, long night and Florence understood the world so much better than she ever had before.

Eleanor was right. It was time to jump. She'd played around on the edge of the cliff for far too long. Her life wasn't perfect and she wasn't going to settle for less.

Emily screamed outside as Henry dropped her and Florence rolled her eyes. She'd better get down there before they actually hurt each other.

Once upon a time she'd told Hadley that there were more important things in life than being liked or even loved.