Page 83 of Loving Jemima

“Enough,” said Jem. “I don’t want to fight with you, I really don’t. Because I don’t think you’re intolerant or prejudiced. I think you’re angry because I lied and perhaps disappointed because I’m not who you thought I was.”

He sat back down rather abruptly, looking a little older and a little paler. “I taught you better than to lie, Jemima.”

“You did, and I shouldn’t have done it. I should have told you from the beginning.” She sat down on the edge of a chair. “I was afraid, and that’s on me. I should have been braver, better.”

He took a breath. “Perhaps I should have fostered an environment in which you felt more able to be truthful,” he said after what felt like a long time.

“I’m not here to place blame,” Jem said. “I’m here to do exactly what I’ve done, which is to return my keys. I’ve kept a spare set and I’ll move my things out just as soon as I can.”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“I do,” Jem said. “I do because I’m not doing this anymore. I’m not having other people make decisions for me. I’m going back on our deal. I’m not hiding a thing going forward.”

“I see.”

“And I know what you’re thinking. I’m a girl with no prospects, no skills, no ambition. And you’re right, or you wereright. But that’s not how it’s going to be. I’m not depending on you anymore. I liked working with Ellie, so I’m going to try and get a job, a real one. And I’m going to stand on my own two feet.”

“A job?”

Jem shrugged. “I’ll work at McDonald’s if I have to. There’s no shame in that. In fact, there’s no shame in any of this. The secrets are gone.”

He breathed out through his nose. “And this… Ellie?”

Jem shrugged. “I don’t know. What I did to her, just dumping her like that, was terrible and I never should have done it. I should have talked to her rather than made decisions for her. That’s what I intend to do now.”

Her father nodded and then slowly, to Jem’s astonishment, he began to smile.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just… I never expected to see this from you, Jemima. This determination, this strength. It’s a new side to you and I like it.”

“You do?”

He leaned forward, his elbows on the desk. “I do. I’ve despaired of you, with your parties and your social events and your swimming around doing a little of everything and a lot of nothing. But this… ambition, it suits you.”

Jem was wrong-footed. “Okay,” she said, not sure what else to say.

He sat back again. “I’ll take the car keys,” he said. “Keep the flat keys—”

“But,” began Jem.

“But nothing. You need a place to live. We’ll discuss a fair rental agreement, you may need room-mates to help pay the bills.”

“Okay,” said Jem, swallowing. “Okay, that seems fair.”

“I’ll continue your allowance for a further three months, that should give you time to find a job. After that, you’re on your own.”

“Fair,” Jem said again. “Though if I find something before then—”

“I’ll stop it sooner,” filled in her father.

“Which leaves the question of Ellie,” said Jem, because she was serious about there being no more secrets.

Her father was quiet for a moment. “Did she put you up to this?”

“No,” Jem said honestly. “I haven’t even spoken to her yet. I don’t even know that she will speak to me.”

Her father nodded. “You have feelings for the woman?”