Page 96 of Loving Jemima
“Um, me?” Jem said.
“Excuse me, Ms. Baker?”
They both turned to see a man in a plain black tux, an earpiece danging over his collar. “Yes?” Ellie said.
The security guard stood straighter. “Just to report in, ma’am. We’ve had a few gatecrashers, most of which we’ve caught. But I’m afraid that the side door was left unattended for a few minutes after one of my men rushed out to help at an accident scene. Nothing to worry about, just a small altercation, a lady fell. But I thought you should know.”
Ellie nodded but Jem saw her face pale. “That’s fine,” she said. “Let me know if anything else happens.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“What is it?” Jem asked as the guard left. “You’ve gone the color of paper.”
“Nothing, it’s silly.” Ellie looked down. “Just… I’ve had the oddest feeling all night that someone was watching me.”
“PTSD,” Jem said. “Although, I suppose everyone’s watching you, since you organized all this and all.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
Jem could see that her words hadn’t helped, could see that Ellie really was worried. “Hey, how about I have a look around, see if there’s any faces that I don’t recognize?”
Ellie smiled again and looked up. “That’d be nice, thank you.”
“It’s the least I can do for my beautiful girlfriend,” Jem said. The word just slipped out. It slipped out and Jem slipped away before either of them could notice that it had been said.
???
The terrace around the courtyard was quieter than the main room, and Ellie walked slowly around the outside. Had Jem really called her girlfriend? Even the thought of the word made Ellie’s blood run warmer.
It was time. Carys was right. She and Jem needed to sit down and talk about all of this, about what they wanted. About love. For once, she didn’t feel a band of tightness around her chest, there was no anxiety now. Just an overwhelming need to get things said, to set things right.
“It’s a good party,” said a posh voice.
Ellie peeked around a column into the courtyard itself. Jasper and one of his cronies were standing next to the water feature.
“It’s alright,” Jasper said, taking a drink.
“No, it’s a good one. Who’s the party planner that your father used? I’ve got that anniversary bash to set up,” the other man said.
Ellie burned with pride.
“Uh, she’s my lesbian sister’s life partner or some shit,” Jasper said with an eye roll.
For a second, Ellie thought about saying something, but then she didn’t. She bit her tongue. Jasper wasn’t going to change overnight, if he ever really changed at all. And as long as hedidn’t say anything in front of Jem, Ellie wasn’t going to fight a needless battle. He could think what he liked, it wasn’t her job to teach him differently.
She turned to leave and almost crashed into someone. Someone who took a step back until their face was revealed in the soft light and Ellie’s chest did start to tighten now. It started to tighten and her breath started to come faster and she was frozen.
“Ellie, El, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to surprise you. But I didn’t know where else to find you,” Paul said.
He looked different, swarthier, less clean even. Ellie fought for her breath.
“You moved and I didn’t know where, and then Mo always kicked me out from in front of the office, and really, this was the only function that I knew for sure you were planning, so… So I came here.”
Ellie gritted her teeth, tried hard to calm herself, tried all the tricks her psychologist had taught her.
“I just had to see you,” Paul said.
She turned, facing the courtyard, hoping the fresh air would help her, stepping out onto the grass. But he simply followed, forcing himself into her eye-line.