Page 24 of Let it Snow Queen
“Well, I better get going. I have to figure out a way to decorate the whole house before my family gets home, and it’s a big house, so . . .” I was rambling like an idiot. They didn’t care.
Fox walked over and hugged me. It took everything in me not to sob into his chest and pepper him with my insecurity.Don’t you like me? Did this really mean nothing? Are we really never going to see each other again?
I looked to Gallow. He’d been my rock this entire trip. Gallow had literally pulled me from a cliff and given me security andhope. Surely, he’d make sure I was okay now. He met my glance and ran a hand through his red beard. “Take care of yourself, Ruby. We’ll see you around.”
Take care of yourself? We’ll see you around?
I couldn’t take anymore. With a curt nod, I shouldered my duffle and greeted the frosty mountain air. I couldn’t help the warm tears that streaked my cheeks on the slushie stomp down the road. Halfway down, Mr. Fish Fry, well, I guessed his actual name was Mr. Ervin, rumbled up in his old pickup truck. When I climbed in, he laughed and asked, “Did you survive the storm?”
No.
We finished our trek together. He offered me a tin as we reached the airport. “Here, Merry Christmas, girl. I don’t think they make ‘em like this down in Georgia. Share some with yer daddies.”
I swallowed back tears as I accepted the chewing tobacco. “Thank you.”
“Come back and see us agin, ya’ hear?”
I waved to the truck until it disappeared from view, and my feet were heavy as I boarded my flight. As I waited in my seat, I plugged in my phone, hoping to catch a charge and make a call before takeoff. After two attempts, my papa answered. “Roo-Roo, please tell me you’re having a good time?”
I wanted to sob at the comforting sound of his voice. “Are you guys at home?” I managed weakly.
“Oh, Roo-Roo, we’ve been trying to reach you. This storm has us stranded in Berlin right now. We’ll be lucky to make it back this week at all. You aren’t going back yet, are you?”
I sniffled. “I wanted to decorate for Declan, wrap his gifts. Nothing’s done . . . .”
The line went fuzzy. “We love you, Ruby. It’ll be alright. The door’s unlocked, and the security system is disarmed. We know how you hate fiddling with—”
These were the last words I heard from my papa. I slumped in my seat and pulled my hoodie over my face.
Failure. I was an epic fucking failure. I pulled out my duffle and rifled through it for some bubblegum when my knuckles hit my dad’s camera. Grabbing it, I flipped through the photos. My heart seized up to see Gallow and Fox in a selfie appear across the screen. And then a shot of Koji with a book around his fire. They must have taken these on the days I stayed in bed. Then a gorgeous snowy blue photo of that stupid cabin . . . I flipped some more and landed on the Gray’s lily.Wow, I actually managed a few decent shots.I’d risked my life for them, but they were pretty. My dad would appreciate them. My dad did the same with photographing owls. He was able to save their habitat . . . My thoughts trailed off.
A voice over the plane’s speaker alerted us to prepare for takeoff. I didn’t have much time. My thumbs shook as I searched on my phone’s slow internet, finally finding what I needed. What were the chances any of these people were in the office today? Slim to none, but I pressed call anyway. It rang and rang until finally . . . “Hello, thank you for calling the conservationist board of North Carolina. How can I help you?”
Oh my god. This was it.
“Hi there. Who do I talk to about saving an endangered plant species from a developer?”
Chapter 17
CHRISTMAS EVE
My plane barely beat the snowstorm barreling toward Georgia. Why was I in such a rush to get home, anyway? Declan and my family wouldn’t be there. I was rushing home to an empty, lifeless house. But at least I could get it ready for him. It would be a ton of work, pulling decor from storage, wrapping the few presents I’d gotten my boy, and searching for a last-minute Christmas tree . . . but I had to try.
My thoughts drifted just like the snowflakes out the car window. Gallow’s warm hug, Fox’s kind eyes, and Koji . . . Stupid, handsome, mean, wonderful Koji . . .
They’d made such an impression in only a few weeks. Tears pricked my eyes again, and my head throbbed from crying so much. For those few weeks, I’d had a taste of the life I’d wanted. It was my own little snow globe of a polyamorous family unit . . . my men and me. All that was missing was my son. It was adumb fantasy that highlighted how ignorant I was. Why would these gorgeous, incredible men want me? A single mom with mental health struggles, a meddling family, and a broken heart? I told myself to be thankful for what it was: a wonderful and unexpected Christmas full of sex and love.Love.Fuck.
My driver pulled up to my house just as the snow flurries increased. “You ready for the snow, darlin’?” asked the friendly older man who, coincidentally, had a big white beard and was wearing a Santa hat. I forced a smile. It seemed I couldn’t escape the damn snow. And it was the same snow that I’d experienced with the guys. Somehow that realization brought both comfort and heartache. “I guess so,” I replied, opening my car door.
I caught his gaze as I grabbed my bag. Before he pulled out, he rolled down a window. “I say, let it snow because Santa might have a few surprises left for you yet, Ruby Snow Queen. It’s Christmas Eve, and holiday magic is afoot!”
“Wait, what do you mean?”
With a wink and a jolly laugh, he drove away. I shook my head. Cute old man. Weird old man, but cute. I stomped up our cold front stairs and surveyed the porch and front yard. Rocking chairs were dusted in white, the lawn becoming covered in snow. I wondered if it looked like this on the night I was born. It was the only time, other than now, I supposed, that Georgia had seen a blizzard. My dad said it was because I was extraordinary. I didn’t feel extraordinary. With a sigh, I nudged open the front door and dropped my bags. My expectations were low—a cold, empty house bearing no holiday cheer, kind of like my heart at that moment. And it was up to me to fix it. I was the mom now. It was my job to deck the halls of my soul and my son’s memories with Christmas love. I had to be the one to turn socks into stockings and pines into glittering towers—all alone, single, lonely.
The smell of cookies surprised my senses. The lights were on. Hope fluttered in my heart. My family must have arrived early . . . though their cars were still gone. Why would they have left their vehicles at the airport?
“Dad? Papa? Mama? Moms? Malcolm?” I walked through the foyer, hearing the trill of “Let it Snow” by Frank Sinatra playing on my papa’s vintage record player. “Declan?”