Page 7 of Let it Snow Queen
Fox was rifling through the cabinets as Koji sulked in, leaning on the doorframe and staring daggers at me.
I answered, “Yeah, but the hot water only works for three minutes.”
“Jesus Christ,” Gallow swore as Fox looked on in concern.
“We’ll do the best with what I’ve got. Cold-water showers aren’t the worst things we’ve endured. No one anticipated this blizzard,” Koji replied lowly.
“Is someone going to tell me why you’re all completely ignoring the fact that you’reinvadingmy house?”
Koji stepped forward, his jaw tensing. “You don’t listen, do you, freckles? This cabin is mine.”
“How?”
“Because this land is mine. I bought it.”
My breath froze in my ribs. “Liar,” I whispered. I looked to his friends for some indicator of truth. They both avoided my gaze, neither looking shocked by his declaration. “You’re fucking kidding me.”
“You’ve got a mouth on you, too.” Koji sneered. “You can stay here until the moment this mountain is passable. I don’t care if you have to sled down. And the only reason I’m allowing it is because I don’t want the bad press of a dead body on my land. Wouldn’t be good for selling condos.”
I stood, fresh rage filling me with adrenaline. “You can’t buy this forest. It’s protected by the state, and you’re sure as hell not building fucking condos. Does the word fuck offend you? Fuck, fuck, fuckity, FUCK!”
Koji only tightened his jaw, his dark gaze flitting down my body for the briefest moment. He swallowed and then let out an annoyed breath as if irritated that he’d let his stare wander. “You take the bedroom. We’ll sleep out here.” He turned on his heel before pausing, changing his mind, it seemed. He walked around Gallow and straight to me. Where did these guys come from that each of them stood inches taller than me, a six-foot woman? It shouldn’t have impressed me. I shoved my horny attraction deep under my snow-covered heart.
“This decrepit land is mine, and since you care so much about it . . . I’ll be sure to scorch it until it looks like the mess you made in this living room. You’d do best to avoid me while I’m allowing you to stay here.”
“Koji—” Gallow said with a warning tone. Koji only lifted a hand in dismissive silence.
I swallowed back my rage and emotion. I wasn’t about to give this asshole the satisfaction of seeing me cry. I’d cried enough today. This month. Thisyear.
In a flash, I stomped past the men and into my room, the only bedroom, and slammed the door. Biting the inside of my cheeks, I wiped at my tears, coming up with a stained black sleeve. I ripped off my damp and dirty clothes and let them crumble into a messy pile on the floor. Thankfully, I’d saved a basin of water yesterday and kept it in my room to spoon out for brushing my teeth or washing my face. It was better than ice-cold water from the faucet. I didn’t feel like rushing through a three-minute, lukewarm shower. I dipped a washcloth in and lathered it with a bar of soap, scrubbing off the dirt and sweat and soot and shame. After pulling on thermal pajamas and thick wool socks, I brushed and braided my hair. I climbed under the rose-embroidered quilt that came with the cabin, feeling warmth seeping under the door. I should have opened it to let more in, but I was too stubborn to let them see me. At least they’d been smart enough to know how to start a new fire. Part of me wanted to storm out into the living room and demand they leave immediately. Even Gallow and Fox. What kind of men were they to lie about why they were here? Because they knew it was wrong, that was why. Gutting a gorgeous preserve of its precious natural beauty and resources all for what? Apartments? A shopping mall? Disgusting. And to stand there while their boss laid into me like that . . . Jerks, all of them.
My dads would have had them out on their asses in a heartbeat. But I didn’t have the energy, or the processing power, to deal with them at the moment.
I was alive. I’d see Declan again. My baby boy.
And this land was sold to a greedy developer. I’d failed at my job here. I was too late.
What a complete waste of time.
Chapter 5
19 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS
Iawoke in agony. The kind that seeped into my bones and begged me to go back to sleep, if only to be comforted by the blessed darkness. The unfeeling unconscious. My condition may have had a new name to me, bipolar, but the symptoms were longtime companions. Of course, my parents weren’t the only ones researching. I now knew what was called cycling, which were periods of downs followed by a period of highs. Maybe there was something close to normal in there somewhere; I couldn’t remember. Everyone was different in how and when they’d cycle. My medication was helping me feel a little more steady, but I’d learned that often significant events would set me spinning into a low. Bed. Darkness. Sleep.
The moment my eyes opened, sadness, terror, regret, and shame pressed me into the sheet. My brain flashed between dangling from a waterfall ledge to standing in the rain in thehospital’s parking lot, begging Declan’s father to stay. I wished I hadn’t begged. I even got down on my knees on the wet pavement.Pathetic.My moms would never have begged a man or partner for anything. They would have walked away with their heads held high. Not me. No, I made a scene.
“You’re making a spectacle of yourself. Don’t you see? You’re too young for me, Ruby. I shouldn’t have let it get this far.”
Too young. Don’t you see?replayed like a broken record in my mind. I’d spent countless hours behind closed curtains, dissecting where I went wrong, how I drove him away. . . how I’d failed Declan.
Today those intrusive thoughts mixed with the fresh horror of almost falling to my death. My body was exhausted yet revved up and anxious, all at the same time.
I needed my medicine.
But I couldn’t pull myself out of bed. Most mornings, my moms did that for me. They’d come in my room, chatting, waving French toast in my face, and pull me out of my blankets . . . out of my head.
But they weren’t here to do that.