Page 28 of End It All

The one person he should have been weary of, he hopped right in the car with. A part of me couldn't blame him. I was a stranger, but Cesare was his sperm donor. I might have known mine, but the need for a familia ran deeply through every singlehuman being. Just thinking about family brought the thought of my mother, and I groaned. I hadn't visited in a while.

How long has it been? Weeks? Months?I couldn't recall the last time I made the trip to visit my mom. I tried to stay clear of that place, memories that had no purpose in my life tended to claw back up and sink into me. Thinking about going to see her filled me with dread as bile burned the back of my throat.

"I'll go tomorrow." I needed at least a day to get ready.

My phone vibrated next to me on the bed, and I grabbed it, prepared for something stupid from Daiki. I still wasn't on the payroll, and I imagined it would stay that way until I proved myself to him. It was bullshit, but that’s the way the world worked. Darcy's name came up instead. One of the workers at Silver Dreams.

Darcy: Grand Myah said you're always welcome back.

Of course I was, but I'd given up that life when I was a teen, and I had no plans to go back. However, life tended to slap me with reality constantly. I refused to burn any bridges.

Quincy: I'm busy right now but tell her thanks.

Darcy: You were popular.

The money I’d made back then was good, but the mental fatigue it took on me wasn't worth it. I left her on read knowing damn well I'd do everything in my power not to end up like that again. I wasn't knocking what they did. Shit, I used Silver Dreams’ services plenty of times and would more then likely again in the future. I just wasn't personally cut out to work there.

The things I had to do to survive back then weren't human. Not even an animal would be subject to the shit I'd gonethrough. I had the cuts and scars to remind me every single day of what I vowed never to go back to. My stomach turned, and I was up and out of the bed in seconds. My hand slammed against the bathroom door. The room twisted and turned as I bent over the toilet, my back arching and bile burning its way up my throat and over my tongue. Acid sizzled every taste bud, making it so much worse.

I stayed bent over, hacking until all that was left was spit. I wiped my lips with the back of my hand before flushing the evidence of my broken psyche down the toilet. I cleaned up, rinsing and brushing my teeth, making sure to get the taste out before I ended up on the floor, curling around the toilet. The air felt stale in the room.

"Fuck." I could barely take in a breath. My fist slammed into the mirror, shattering upon impact. The pain was dull, not fully registering even when blood dripped down into the sink. Still, I pulled my fist back and punched it one more time for good measure. The entire thing fell down and crashed to the linoleum floor, making a mess.

My phone vibrated and rang on the bed, and for a brief second, I thought about leaving it. If I wasn't in the predicament I was in, I would have. I grabbed it up without looking at the screen. I had no room to ignore an opportunity to make money.

"Yeah?"

"Quincy? What's wrong?" Harlow asked.

Fuck. "Nothing. Just woke up from a good ass nap." I yawned for good measure. "What's up?"

"Cesare being back in town has Benito on edge."

I nodded as if I understood, but my world didn't revolve around the Vitales, regardless of what they thought. I had shit to do, and if Harlow was calling only to bitch about his family life, I was going to need to cut this shit short.

"Yeah, I can see why. But, Har, I have to?—"

"What's weird is how close he's keeping Blake. Something in my gut says this is a bad idea."

I could hear the worry in my best friend's voice. "I told him to watch his back."

"Blake needs to do more than that. Cesare is like Denji; if they can use someone, they will."

Yeah, I knew exactly what Harlow’s father was like. A manipulator. I’d seen it myself. Still, this didn’t involve me.

"Or maybe he turned over a new leaf and wants to do right by his son."

There was silence between us before I gave in and laughed.

"All right, so that's not the case with men like them, but still, it's probably what Blake is hoping for."

Harlow groaned. "I know, and normally, I wouldn't give a fuck. Everyone has to deal with their own daddy issues."

"Oh, like you've dealt with yours?" I went into my bathroom and instantly, irritation crawled up my flesh. The mess was all wrong and out of place. I grabbed the broom and dustpan holding the phone up between my shoulder and ear.

"You've got jokes today."

"You've been calling me a lot more lately."