Page 44 of The Damaged Billionaire's Obsession
The day after that incident in my office, I took Will aside, instructing him to ensure that I had as little contact as possible with Bonnie, and unless absolutely necessary.
He was only too glad to oblige, given that he still feels possessive of her.
I question how the dude’s brain works because I’m pretty sure he doesn't have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting with Bonnie. But I don’t pretend to know the rules around unrequited crushes.
Of all the things that I am, a man who forces his attention on a woman who doesn't completely reciprocate his feelings is not one of them. I'm sure that a part of Bonnie wants me, but that's not enough for me. She either wants me unequivocally or not at all.
So far, Will has done a brilliant job, although that hasn't stopped my obsession with her.
It's frankly sickening how much I think about her since I discovered that thoughts of her distract me from the anxiety I get on a daily basis from general lack of control and clutter. It's now my favorite technique to manage anxiety.
And when I can’t avoid being around her, like in meetings or mock presentations, I study her.
I’m fascinated by the way she moves, her quick smile and her sharp wit. Unfortunately, I also see how effortlessly sexy she is. And how very aware of it. She knows the effect she has on men and milks it.
It's in her confident strut. The way she leans over and holds men’s gazes. The way she absently fingers her collarbone or throws her head back while ruffling her short, glossy curls while giving them sultry looks. It's unpracticed, yet men fall around her like flies.
Perhaps because I didn't allow myself to see her, the need to communicate with her in other ways grew so strong thatI began sending screen messages and emails more frequently. And recently, I've been doing it daily.
Seeing as she too works late on most days, I now delay my messages till later in the evening. Knowing it was just us two left in the office made it feel like I was speaking to her privately.
At first she would only ever reply with 'thank you's, but after some time, she started asking for advice.
Although I kept things strictly professional, she might as well have been naked in my bed with the way my cock would twitch and harden in response to Bonnie asking for my help.
This is the third week we've been doing this now and I don't know how many more cold showers I could take. Not that they help. It's very clear that there's no way in hell I could ever hope to have a purely professional relationship with her.
I want her in a way I've never wanted any woman before.
I want to lay myself bare before her and tell her every single thing that makes me tick. To tell her my deepest darkest secret because something tells me she can take it. Because I sense she's no stranger to darkness.
To bury myself so deeply in her that she wouldn't be able to tell where I stop and where she begins. To spend days memorizing every inch of her body with my tongue.
I want to hear her moan my name and see what she looks like when she's coming my cock.
“Ethan?” Three pairs of eyes focus on me.
“What?” I have no clue what anyone just said.
“We think Bonnie should handle it.”
Handle Dreadlite. My latest creation.Yep, I knew it. Fuuuck.
It'll kill me but I'm going to have to say no.
I don a mask of cold indifference. “Absolutely not. She hasn’t handled anything like this project before, not even under supervision.”
“I can guide her. Besides, you're here, and you created it,” Jordan replies.
“No way. Her probation period isn’t over yet. New employees are usually under a three to six-month probation.”
Mike huffs out a laugh. “We are well aware of that. Like there’s any way she’d come out with anything other than a confirmation. Hell, she might even become a junior partner at this rate.”
“Hold the fuck up, Mike. Let’s not get crazy here. She is a staff-trainee, and junior partner isn't for another two promotions. That’s three years away at least,” I say.
“Mike is exaggerating yes, but Bonnie’s on the right track. Anyone with eyes can see that. No pun intended.” Jordan cocks his eyebrow.
“Piss off,” I say affectionately. Between Jordan and Grant, I don't think there's a single eye joke left on earth I haven't yet heard.