Page 42 of The Enemy Plot
17
A New World
Deacon
Today is our last day, and I can’t believe this trip is already coming to an end. It’s been the breath of fresh air I needed. Lola and I bonded a little, and I’m now absolutely positive I’m falling hard for Alice Beaumont. That last bit may pose a problem, though.
Because even if I’m pretty sure she’d have kissed me back last night, I can’t date Alice. Not right now, when my life is pure chaos. I have to think of what’s best for Lola, and that’s my undivided attention andcare.
I’m glad that our almost-kiss didn’t mess up our newfound friendship, and more importantly, the friendship between her and Lola. We’ve walked halfway around the lake, and it’s a beautiful day. A lot of people are out for a stroll, but this lake is so big, it doesn’t feel crowded. We ate a picnic of sandwiches and Reese’s cups for dessert, and we’re now continuing our tour.
“So, Lola,” I begin. “Do you have any performances scheduled with your school?” I glance at Alice, who offers an encouraging smile. “You never talk about that. I’d love to see you dance somewhere other than our living room.”
Lola does a double take, then frowns. “Really?”
I let out a low chuckle. “Of course. Is that so hard to believe? You’re attending one of the top dance schools in the world.”
Her confused frown deepens. “That’s not your scene. Like, at all.”
Alice and I laugh. “True, but if you’re dancing, I want to see it. Plus, this trip wasn’t exactly your scene either, and you had a good time, right?”
“I did.” She pauses, a smile teasing her lips. “Okay. I only have one big performance at the End of Year Show in June. It’ll be a big part of my grade. Parents can come, so I’ll get you a ticket. Do you want to come too,Alice?”
Alice glances at me, and I nod. While I appreciate her letting me decide if I want this bonding experience with Lola for myself, I also know my niece would love to have Alice there cheering her on too. Plus, I can never say no to spending time with Alice.
“Of course.” She beams at Lola. “I’d love to see you dance.”
“Great. I’ll get the tickets when I’m back at school on Monday.”
We continue walking in silence, and I feel a small weight lifting off my chest. That wasn’t so bad, and I meant every word. I would love to see her perform. She’s everything I’ve got now, and I want nothing more than to show her how much I care for her.
“I was wondering,” Lola mumbles, twisting her mouth. “Could we stop by the house you grew up in? Mom always loved it, and I only went once before. It’s not far from here, right?”
I freeze. The idea of going to my grandmother’s house—and my childhood home—has been scratching at my mind ever since I got in the car to come to Sycamore Springs, but I’ve been too much of a coward to act on it. “Um . . .”
Alice offers me one of her soft smiles, and I nod. It’s just a house. I can do it. “Sure. We’re really close.”
Lola bobs her head and keeps walking. Alice’s arm bumps into mine, and as if it was the lifeline I desperately needed, I take her hand. It’s soft, like cotton or velvet, and as warm as the sun shining on my face.Comforting.
She glances at me, but she doesn’t pull away. We wander down the path until we reach my grandmother’s backyard.
Suddenly, I can’t move. My eyes lock on the small cottage-style house with white beams, windowsills, and those stairs leading to the back door. Four little wooden steps. The ones I didn’t secure well enough. The ones that broke and sent her to the hospital, never to return home.
Lola asks if she can go further. I nod, but my legs don’t move. I squat down, head in my hand as all my bottled-up emotions come rushing back to the surface.
“Deacon,” Alice’s voice soothes me as she rubs my back.
“It’s all my fault, Alice. You don’t get it.” Images of my grandma laughing flash in my mind, but they’re soon replaced by her lying in her deathbed at the hospital. I can almost feel her hand in mine the last time I visited her. She tried to squeeze my palm, but she was so weak, I barely felt her soft press. My throat constricts, mirroring my heart. I’m crying now. And I hate it. “I’m the one responsible for her death. If I’d been more careful, she’d still be here.”
Alice kneels down next to me. With a shaky breath, I lift my head and see Lola a few yards in front of us, staringat the house. “It’s all my fault. See those steps? She fell through them because I didn’t check them well enough. I knew they were in bad shape, especially with all the humidity that comes off the lake. But no, I didn’t. She fell and never came back.”
Alice’s brown eyes soften, her gaze like a warm blanket. “What do you mean, Deacon? They’re only a few steps . . .”
“But shefell. I took her to the hospital, and then they’d always find something else, and then—” My own sob cuts me off and prevents me from breathing.
Alice continues to rub my back, shushing me. “Deacon, it’s okay. Just let it out. It’s not your fault.”
“Why does everyone around me die?” I ask, suddenly feeling like a little kid. “What if the same thing happens to her?” I look at Lola, who has now turned around, standing frozen as she stares back at us.