Page 34 of Adored By the Alien Warlord
“You were alone in the desert?”
“It was a dark time. I was lost, not just physically but in here.” I tapped my chest. “I abandoned my responsibilities, my brother, my clan. I'm not proud of this.”
“Oh, Davon.” Maggie stood and took a step toward me, then stopped, remembering the rules. “That must have been incredibly hard. Grief can make us do things we regret.”
“I stole another traedor's sword.” She wasn't supposed to understand or be kind to me about this. She should be stoic and stern and judge me like the elder in my clan had. I still had much to make up for. “I plan to return it with my apology.”
“Will the traedor be angry?”
“I hope not. I'll explain and await his judgment.”
“He won'tpunish you, will he?”
I sought her gaze but couldn't hold it. So much kindness there. No anger. No disappointment. Why not? “He should.”
“You could find a way to make amends.”
“Perhaps.” I'd think about this. She was right. What could I offer Aizor that would make him feel better about the theft? I'd return his sword, of course, but there must be something more I could do.
Her understanding loosened something in my chest, the weight I’d dragged behind me since my parents died and I fled. “I should’ve been stronger. My clan needed me then, as did my brother. But I couldn't find the will to face the duties I knew I had to accept.”
“You returned to your clan though, right?” Maggie asked.
“I did. They . . . allowed me to return, to take on the burdens I should’ve on the day my parents died.”
“We all handle grief in different ways. Some cry. Some get angry. And some run away. Emotions can be hard to deal with. I can understand feeling as if you needed to flee. There were times when I thought about telling my sister that we should stop trying. It was hard surviving even though we had each other. Too hard. We had help here and there, but when it came down to it, we were alone.”
“But you didn’t run.”
She shrugged. “I wanted to.”
It wasn’t the same thing, but I appreciated her understanding. “I offered your sister and her mate shelter with my clan during a sandstorm.” I couldn't letthem die like my parents, not when I had food and shelter I could offer. “That’s how I met Talia and heard about her missing sister. You, Maggie. I would’ve walked forever to find you.”
“To make up for walking away when they tried to hand you all that responsibility while you were still grieving? That’s not a burden anyone should carry.”
Yet I did.
“You're here now, trying to help me because she asked you to do this,” she said. “That shows strength.”
“Ididcome back.” My heart felt . . . looser. My shame would never go away, but speaking of this helped in a way I hadn't expected. “It took time to earn my clan’s trust again, but they accepted me. Coovik forgave me, though I'm not sure I deserve it.”
Maggie stepped close enough to stroke my arm. “Sometimes we have to forgive ourselves too. You survived a terrible loss and yes, you were lost for a time, but you found your way back. That's something to be proud of.”
Her words washed over me like cool water, soothing a wound I'd thought would never heal. For the first time in years, I felt the weight of my shame lighten.
“Thank you,” Emotion roughened my voice. “For understanding.”
“We've all made mistakes,” Maggie said. “What matters is how we move forward after.”
I nodded, feeling a spark of hope. Maybe, just maybe, I could find redemption. And perhaps, with Maggie by my side, I could become the male I was meant to be.
“You should bathe,” I said. “Rest. I’m keeping you from both.”
She yawned, and I hated bothering her with the shameful story of my past. “I’ll see you in the morning?”
“You will.” Nothing would keep me away from her. As she sat on the bed, I walked close, leaned down, and whispered one final promise into her ear. “I'll always be here for you, Maggie.”
I left her room and took my post in the hallway, determination a living thing inside me. I would do everything in my power to keep her safe for as long as I could. I would do for her what I was unable to do for my family.