Page 27 of This Broken Heart

“I was asking you a question, man. Where’d you go just now?”

I scrub my hands over my face. “Nowhere. I’m just tired.” I turn to face him. “What’s your question?”

He grins, waggling his eyebrows. “Is she really living with you?”

“Where’d you hear that?”

“From Lydia Carlisle.”

“The school secretary?” I ask. “How in the hell does she know about that?”

“So, it’s true?”

I shrug. “Well, I mean, I need someone to watch the kids and I’m always coming and going. Especially with calving season coming up.”

“Holy shit, man.” He crows. “It’s about damn time. Maybe you’ll finally get some action. Lord knows you need it.” He kneads my shoulders. “You been getting pretty tense these days, my friend.”

I shrug out of his grasp, anger simmering in my stomach. “It’s not like that.”

“Sure, sure.”

“I’m dead ass serious, Bo. It’s not like that.”

Except for the part where I had a sexy dream about her the night before. But that’s neither here nor there. I can’t stop the brain from concocting whatever it wants when I fall asleep. The other night, I had a dream that Betsy and I had a BBQ together. I’m not going to start feeding her burgers, and by that token, I’m not going to act on the dream about Erin.

Bo can be a little crude, but he usually catches up, eventually. He holds up his hands. “Okay. You’re not banging the babysitter. Got it.”

“I’d never do that to Ana.”

He winces, turning back to his beer. “We all miss her, you know.”

I look over at him, surprised. We rarely talk about Ana. I don’t want to burden them with the depths of my sorrow; and I think they’re trying to keep things light for me.

“But, Josh? Don’t you think Ana would want to see you live a good life?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“She’d understand if you moved on.”

“If moving on means leaving her behind, I won’t do it.”

He nods, picking at the label of his beer. “Nobody wants to forget about Ana. She was special, man. But we miss seeing you smile.”

“We? You guys been talking about me?”

He huffs a laugh. “If you don’t think we’ve been talking about you for the last two years, you’re off your rocker. You’re our friend, Josh. We’re worried about you, like it or not.”

“Not.” I say, fighting back a small grin. “I like it not.”

But that’s not entirely true.

I’ve spent the last two years thinking I was in this all alone. I didn’t know it, but they were there too, looking out for me.

It’s a good feeling.

“Now, about this nanny.” Bo says.

I shove him, laughing. “Man, shut up.”