Page 51 of This Broken Heart
“What?”
“My ex-boyfriend.”
He pauses. “I didn’t know you just broke up with someone.”
I’m surprised I didn’t tell him about that. But then again, why would I have? “I mean, it was last summer. So, not that recent. But we were together forever. That’s besides the point.” I wave my hand airily, trying to act like I’m not internally squirming. “I know what you were going to say, and we can just skip it.”
He crosses his arms. “What was I going to say?”
“You were going to say you think I’m a swell gal, but we need to cool it. For the kids’ sake. And you would be right.” I shrug. “As far as I’m concerned, nothing happened. It’s no big deal.”
I should have stopped after I mentioned the kids. Everything after that only made him frown. When I said it wasn’t a big deal, he even looked a little taken aback. Part of me wishes I could reel those words back, but the truth is we really do need to cool it. If acting like I don’t care is what it takes, then that’s what I need to do.
I can tell he’s not satisfied with my response, which is frustrating, because that means I’m probably in for another conversation.
But his mom saves the day by knocking on the front door. Without waiting for a response, she pushes the door open. “Knock, knock. It’s grandma.”
Josh crosses the room, stopping by me to mutter in my ear. “We’re not done here.”
His voice, low and sultry, sends a shiver down my spine.
He wraps his mom in a quick hug. “What are you up to?”
“It’s Small Town Christmas in Clark. We’re taking the kids, remember?”
“Oh shit. That’s today, isn’t it?” He glances at his mom, doing a double take at her raised eyebrow. “I mean, oh shoot.”
“Better.” Her tone is dry. “You’ll come too, won’t you, Erin? You’ll love it. All the little boutiques and coffee shops have open houses and crafts for the kids. And they bring Santa in on a fire truck.”
“Oh, I’d love to.” I say, wondering how convincing my brittle tone is. “Maven’s sick though. I better stay back with her.”
“Oh, no! Little Mavey? Where is she? Is she okay?”
I nod towards the kitchen. “She’s eating breakfast.”
“Oh, thank goodness.” Lisa says, crossing the room to peek in the kitchen. “Can’t go outside, though, if she’s got a cold. How about this? You and Josh take Trace, and I’ll stay back with Maven.”
“Oh, mom…” Josh struggles for words. “You have to go. You love Small Town Christmas. I’ll stay back and you ladies can go. I’m not a big shopper, anyway.”
“Nonsense.” Lisa says, her tone definitive. “Maven needs her grammy. I’m staying. You two are going.”
34.
Josh
Erin was spot on. She predicted my rehearsed script to the line. She was just missing one part—the part where I say how big of a deal it was to me.
Ana was the first and only woman I ever slept with.
Erin stretches the list to two.
If you can count a blow job and getting fingered as sleeping together.
Maybe she doesn’t. She certainly isn’t acting like we did anything consequential.
I’m not going to lie. That hurts a little.
And when I get hurt, I get surly.