Page 14 of Love is So Mean
“Maybe all of those unaccompanied falls are the reason you’re crazy. Nothing about what you said is normal. And no, Matthew and Jeeves can handle downstairs. You needed me here.” She opens her mouth to say something but I cut her off. “Don’t you dare tell me you didn’t need me or that you were fine. I was the conscious one here and you were anything but fine.”
“Okay, I’ll take your word for it but I’m not crazy. I’m sure you read my file, I know I left everything in there outside of the NDA. I get some bruises here and there because of the falls, it’s nothing new. Bruises heal all the time.”
“Just because something is common or you’re used to it doesn’t mean it’snormal.I don’t have an MD but I’m damn sure your doctor doesn’t want you walking around and passing out just to hop up and act like it didn’t happen. Reading your file doesn’t diminish my right tocareabout your well being, Yasmeena!”
“Care?” She repeats the word like it’s foreign. “I mean my well being is debatable. I have ovarian cancer, it’s not really about well being is it? But it’s also because I wanted to not mix my medicine with the drinks. I did come up to take it, didn’t I? I was strong enough to do that.”
She’s going to kill both of us. The longer I’m here the more I consider doing us all a favor and throw her over the balcony. I’d be much less stressed out.
“Fuck the drinks. Not on time, and no you weren’t.”
Yasmeena has a confused expression on her face, “You don’t think I’m strong enough to do this?”
“Your condition doesn’t give a damn about how strong you think you are…wait what the hell do you mean bruises heal all of the time?”
“They do. Growing up, I had very strict parents. A bruise here, a mark there. It doesn’t last very long. You just wait until they’re done gripping your wrist or something. It’s just that.”
I rub my temples because I’m going to be the next person with a cold towel over my eyes. The things that most people think are horrible, she talks about like it’s an item on a budget meeting.
“They did what? Strict or not, bruises at the hands of your parents is not acceptable. There is a big difference between discipline and abuse.”
“I understand that now, my therapist says the same thing but I don’t feel the difference or see it. It’s just who I am.”
“You may not feel it because you haven’t been shown it. Do you know the difference when dealing with a child?”
“Yes, I started with therapy because I wanted my children, well, child now, maybe…to be the opposite of me. While I may be detached or feel empty sometimes, it doesn’t mean I won’t learn for my child. That’s why I don’t want my family around the child. They don’t love me and I don’t love them but if I can carry my child and feel her or him, I know the experience will be different. And if it isn’t, I will force myself. I’ve always wanted a husband and kids, just not so soon. Don’t have a choice now.” She shrugs as she grabs her tea.
Again, she loads so much information on me like she just told me her grocery list. What am I supposed to do with that revelation? I’m stressed the hell out and she’s sipping tea like it’s a cozy Sunday afternoon.
“How many?”
“How many, what?”
“Options. How many?”
“Prospects? Before I decided it was you? Hmm, maybe 10 but I was having Matthew check each of them out.”
“So Matthew knows about this?”
“No, he knows that they were prospects for something. No one but you knows what it was for.”
“No one? I’m the only one you asked?”
“Yes.”
“Is there a back up?”
“There was but not anymore.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and let out a long sigh before asking my next question.
“Why aren’t artificial insemination or IVF with a sperm donor options?”
“I don’t trust easily. I can’t do that.”
“And you trust me?”
“Of course I trust you, Enrique. I trust you with everything. Do you not know that by now? I wanted to give you 50% of inheritance and make you my COO.”