Page 5 of Love is So Mean
“I don’t care. Mother. I am cold. I am frigid and if you reach into my chest and pull out this organ that’s beating against the rest of my body, you’ll realize only one thing…”
“Yasmeena,” she sighs. “I don’t know where I ever went wrong with you.”
“Don’t worry, I don't blame you for anything. I am not a child where I’ll think about how you and Baba raised me. I am what makes me today. After all, I am an Al-Ameen.”
“Show up at the hospital or else.”
She threatens and hangs up before I can tell her where she can take her request.
Taking a deep breath in and releasing it, I swerve and press on the gas driving faster, much more reckless, and without a care in the world. Death is inevitable, we should never fear it, I know I don’t.
Without much shock to my actions, I end up in front of the hospital where the news reporters are waiting outside for Bilal Al-Ameen to make even one appearance. My car skirts as I stop right in front of one reporter who looks like they want to throw their expensive camera at me but I step out and they take a step back.
I could be upset that they would do that when I appear but I don’t care. I walk around them as they crowd me as I step into the hospital doors but then I stop to look around the area then turn around, leaving, walking out. This is as much of a presence he’s going to get from me.
My family hates to make headlines but at the same time, they love it. I know nothing is wrong with Baba but that’s not what the outside world knows. They have no idea who he is or what kind of man he is.
I sit in my car for a moment, getting photographed by paparazzi as I message Enrique about the proposal. His response lets me know that he will be ready by Monday with his feedback about my proposal.
My mind is all over the place with my news that I’ve held onto since the moment I was told, the relaunch happening soon and the fact that my father is all over the news seeking pity because his company is tanking. It’s too much but there’s no way for meto deal with it but head on. There’s never been a moment to take a break or cry out my frustration.
You’re an Al-Ameen, you can’t be like the others. We have royalty in our bloodline. We don’t bow down and take it, we do something about it.
That’s what Baba would say, yet, to point out that he’s bowing down now would mean that I’m willing to disrespect him or treat him like he’s beneath me. I clear my head not wanting to think about anything at all but getting married and having a baby. I need to do this soon, even if the diagnosis isn’t the worst, it doesn’t change that I don’t want surgery at all.
I fear only one thing in this world and that’s dying alone. That’s what I’ll have if I don’t have a husband or child… but at this rate, would they make a difference in my life?
LATER ON, I thought about eating at home but changed my mind wanting to go to the restaurant that I know my parents love the most. Instead of wearing a combo that I’d wear for work, I wear a short body-fitting black dress that stops mid thigh and showed skin under my boobs, matching it with black pantyhose and black open toe heels, I considered putting my hair up in a bun or ponytail but I’ll do it differently tonight.
Letting my hair out in its dark brown glory, it cascades my back in its curly state unlike how I wear it gelled back and away in a bun or ponytail for work. Opting for my sleek black Aston, I press harder on the gas, speeding through the night and when I finally reach the restaurant, I stop making sure nobody gets hurt, I would hate to have an issue with such an exquisite restaurant. Valet opens my door and I step out.
“Welcome to Halo, Miss Al-Ameen,” the usual valet, Andrew, says to me with a smile and I smirk at him.
He’s too young for me at the age of 24 but he always tries to flirt with me. I let him because we both know he’d never get another chance to do so.
“Come on, Drew,” his eyes sparkled at his nickname. “You can call me Yasmeena all you want.” I wink at him and he chuckles as the blush rises on his face.
“Yes, Yasmeena, enjoy your dinner.”
“Come and take my coat off. Let someone else park my car.” I tell him.
He nods and whistles to another valet. We walk or rather, I walk and he follows me like a little lost puppy that can only follow its owner.
Chapter 4
Enrique
Dinner was amazing, everything we sampled was top notch. I can say Halo has earned its reputation. All of those delicious morsels, however, feel as if they’re stuck in my esophagus. I don't know if it's because Halo is such a beautiful place that seeing my love in its ambience makes me want to always strive to give her the best things in life or something else entirely. I don’t doubt my love or commitment to Emily, this dinner is just a reminder that marriage is a huge commitment.
I've planned for this but am far more nervous than I expected. To hide my sweaty palms, I’ve found reasons not to hold her hand throughout dinner. I’ve consumed more water in the last hour than I have all day since fear has my mouth and throat dry. I’ve imagined this moment for a long time but it’s terrifying now that it’s here.
Dessert is approaching and I have yet to conjure the words necessary to make Emily mine forever. I should be bursting with sonnets or other romantic shit to say yet they escape me. I don’t need an entire speech in my head but I should have been able to land on a sentence to begin the proposal.
Fuck, I should have written something in advance.
As I take my next sip for water, I force myself to tune in to what she’s saying. Emily wraps her delicate fingers around my wrist, her thumb rubs my pulse point-something she does when she thinks my mind is drifting-and gives me a soft smile.
My body relaxes as we hold eye contact. I was overthinking again. Emily seems to bring me out of it every time. It makes me love her even more.