Page 22 of Daring Destiny
ThesecondIwalkinto The Zoo, it hits me how long I’ve been away from my happy place.
I mean, it feels like I never left, but it’s actually been ages. Three long months of nonstop chaos in Silicon Valley, navigating through a maze of an acquisition, numerous board meetings to prepare for followed by schmoozy investor dinners. Every step forward in my company feels like it’s pushing me ten steps back in my daily life.
I don’t have bandwidth. Strings of back-to-back, twelve-to-fourteen-hour days deplete me to the point where I can’t function. Sometimes, I’ll sleep for an entire day or so to recharge my batteries.
And, my God, this new acquisition is a disaster waiting to happen. My board outvoted me and now I’m stuck trying to integrate a company—and entire executive team—with a profit-first vision into my ethics-first infrastructure. The fissures are already evident.
Truth be told, CognifyAI has grown so big, operations have taken a complete 180 from my original vision. Now the deal is done, though, and it’s my responsibility to figure out how to make it work. Meanwhile, a potential IPO looms ahead along with another major product launch.
I’m coming to terms with the fact the next eighteen months are going to be busier than the past three.
If we go public, I’ll be golden-handcuffed to my company for a long time. Unfortunately, I’m used to being exhausted, stretched thin, and torn between what I want and what the board demands.
Do I keep going? Do I have a choice?
At the moment, my stress is compounded by the shit happening in my family. Cillian is careening toward a self-destructive implosion. He’s pulled away from everyone who loves him. None of us can get through. We’re all worried sick because it’s official. He’s following in my da’s footsteps and ruining his life with his drinking.
Liam and Padraig, the twins, aren’t much better off. Laid-back Padraig’s burned out from the rock-star grind, tired of chasing fame. Ambitious Liam’s not ready to let go of his dream. The tension in their band is at an all-time high. I hate how their close relationship is strained to the point of breaking.
A year ago, Astrid and I became business partners and friends. Now she’s my unexpected and cherished light. I trust her implicitly. She never pressures me about my work schedule. Her endless support and understanding, no matter how many days we go without talking, is refreshing. I can always count on her for a kind, encouraging word. She’s the perfect woman.
The only person outside of my family who encourages me to be true to myself.
There’s no question in my mind. We have a special bond.
Astrid Gustaffson has become my safe place.
Hopefully I’m hers too.
There’s no doubt I’m attracted to her.
I wish so badly…
Ahh, no. I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair. Astrid deserves a man who can treat her like a queen. Her past relationships, at least how she’s explained them, have been with men who don’t prioritize her. I don’t want to be another man who disappoints her.
It’s depressing.
God, it sucks. She’s the one thing I love about my life. She’s one person I can be real with. Astrid doesn’t care about my money or clout or the headlines. She likes me for being me. Unapologetically.
Anyway, I can’t wait to see her tonight. I’ve looked forward to this for weeks. She’s not here yet so I’ve secured our favorite pool table. I have a full pitcher of beer. I’m so fucking ready for a night off with my favorite person, I can barely keep still.
Ten minutes later, she walks through the door and I can tell something’s wrong before she even says a word.
Oh, God. My beautiful Astrid’s been crying.
Before my brain can catch up, I swiftly close the gap between us and just act. Wrap my arms around her and pull her tightly against me without hesitation. She melts into my chest and I know, without a shadow of doubt, this is where she’s meant to be.
Thisis what I’m meant to do.
Hold her. Comfort her. Take the burden off her shoulders.
Holy shit, feeling her pressed against my body—everything else fades into the background but the two of us.
“Hey,” I whisper as her tears soak into my shirt.
She sobs so hard it breaks me. I tighten my grip on her. One hand strokes her back while the other gently cradles her head. I’ve never seen her lose her composure, let alone fall apart. To know she trusts me this deeply makes me want to shield her from whatever’s hurting her.
Forever.