Page 59 of Caught Running
Brandon ran until he thought he might collapse, but he at least made it back to the porch before flopping on the steps and lying back on the wood. He’d managed to zone out for a little while, but it was a testament to how wrapped up he was in Jake that he just couldn’t shake the scare. Groaning, he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. He’d have to ask about it. It would drive him crazy until he knew. Sighing, he draggedhimself up and went back to the car for the duffle, then headed inside.
The more time that passed, the angrier Jake found himself. It didn’t help that he had an infamous temper. It didn’t help that he was terrified their carefully hewn relationship might be falling apart out there on a trail somewhere with no way for him to fix it. That was just adding to the anger. When the phone began to ring, Jake rounded on it and grabbed it, yanked it out of the wall and tossed it across the kitchen. He snorted at it and then walked out of the house into the back yard and disappeared into the grove of trees.
Brandon stopped still and stood looking at the phone. Calmer now, he felt not a little ashamed of himself. He’d never backed down from Jake, even when the other man was mad as hell. He’d never lied to him, either. And he didn’t think Jake had ever kept anything from him. Taking a breath, he set his hand on the phone for a long moment, then picked it up and dialed. The more the phone rang, the more resigned he felt. Finally he hung up and laid his forehead against the wall. He hoped Jake was in the shower or something. He glanced at the clock. Four hours to the banquet. More than enough time to head back to the house and talk to Jake. He headed to the shower and cleaned up, thoughts buzzing the whole time and on the drive back as well. When he pulled into the driveway, he knew what he was going to say.
Heading into the house, he called Jake’s name. No response came. The remains of the shattered phone met him in the foyer, and one of the little gold trophies sat on the corner of the bar, the bat pointing toward the cupboard of pills with the little pony-tailed head ripped off and hanging on the end of it.
Brandon stared at the mess for a long moment, then turned his chin to look at the desk. The score book lay open, the e-mail exposed.Christ. I really fucked this one up. Taking a deepbreath, he started cleaning up the mess, figuring Jake had to come back sometime, if only to get the scorebooks and tallies for the banquet.
Jake spent an hour roaming the little clearing out back where he had grown up hitting rocks as a kid. He walked in circles, picking up bits of loose gravel and sticks. He would take a rock, toss it up, and swing. Over and over, for hours on end. He still had the ruined nub of the bat he’d used as a kid mounted on a plaque in his old bedroom.
He stood there, thinking about the last twenty years and where they had gone different from what he had wanted. Not wrong. Just different. Slowly his breathing calmed, his temper ebbed, and he was left standing in the middle of the clearing with a tight throat and chest, thinking about where he had left to go and what he would have were he to leave.
Lowering his head, Jake turned and walked slowly back to the house.
Brandon leaned against the wall facing the door, just waiting. The time dragged and dragged, until he heard footsteps. Jake walked slowly to the door, opened it, and once inside looked up at him. The look on his face about broke Brandon’s heart. “Jake,” he started, voice thick.
“I need a shower,” Jake responded as he headed for the hall.
Brandon set his jaw and stepped in front of him, hands touching each wall, blocking the way. “I want to go with you,” he said steadily.
Jake stopped and blinked at him. “What?” he asked flatly.
Tilting his head with a stern look, Brandon’s expression showed thatheknew thatJakeknew what he was talking about. “If you leave, I want to go with you,” he said.
“Why would you think I’m going anywhere?” Jake asked in a tired voice. He’d walked the anger out, and now he just felt flatand exhausted. “Why would you think I would even consider leaving and never mention it to you?”
“It scared the hell out of me, Jake,” Brandon said starkly. “I know I overreacted. Except for that vacation, when have we ever talked about the future beyond this weekend or the next game?” He dropped both arms, looking truly upset. “It just made me realize that I wouldn’t have anything if you left,” he said miserably.
Jake gave a pained wince and looked down at the floor. “Iwouldn’t have anything if I left, either,” he murmured.
Brandon’s throat ached as he slowly stepped forward, closer to his lover, reaching out to lightly touch his cheek. “I’m sorry I scared you,” he said. “I scared the hell out of myself, too.”
“You just fucking left,” Jake whispered roughly.
Brandon let his hand fall back to his side. He deserved that. “Yeah,” he said, voice full of self-recrimination. “I’m too good at running, I guess. But I am sorry. Please believe me. I know I fucked up royally.”
“Yeah, you did,” Jake answered with a nod of his head. “So did I.”
Nodding, Brandon’s shoulders slumped a little. “Are we—are we going to be okay?” he asked weakly.
Jake met Brandon’s eyes and his lips twitched. “You’re willing to move to California with me,” he murmured.
“Jake, I’d move to Antarctica with you,” Brandon replied honestly. Jake replied by stepping closer and pulling Brandon to him for a passionate kiss. He wrapped his arms around him and turned them both, pushing Brandon against the wall as he kissed him harder.
Brandon’s arms flew around Jake’s neck, and he held on tight, joining the kiss desperately, inside chantingThank you God, thank you God, thank you God, thank you God...
“Don’t ever run from me again,” Jake pleaded.
Brandon nodded his head earnestly. “I promise,” he said. “Fuck, Jake. I love you so much it hurts.”
“I’m sorry,” Jake responded as he pressed his forehead to Brandon’s and held the other man’s face between his hands.
“Just please, don’t ever leave me behind,” Brandon asked, voice cracking.
“You’re mine,” Jake answered with a shake of his head. “You won’t be left behind.”
Brandon tilted his head to kiss him again, one arm around his neck, one around his waist as Jake kept him smashed against the wall. It felt perfect, but that didn’t stop him from flinching and choking in surprise when the screen door opened and someone walked in.