Page 70 of He Loves Me Knot
What a dumb fuck I was.
Since then, he’d been happy to dodge all attempts at relationships. The beginning stage of attraction, when everything was carnal and lust heightened the experience of sex, was the best part anyway. He had no desire to stick around for anything that went beyond that.
The result was that Liddy was the closest any woman had ever gotten recently.
And she’d seen through him in an instant.
Which was why he needed to be cautious. He couldn’t mistake the first connection he’d made with anyone in years as genuine feelings. That would just be foolish.
He blanked his mind eventually, and by the time the massage ended, he’d been able to relax into it. Liddy had booked some sort of waxing package, so she went off with another therapist to a room while he got back into the robe and flip-flops they’d provided him at the check-in to the spa.
He’d grabbed a T-shirt, board shorts, and sweatshirt at the gift shop while Liddy had picked up a dress and a few bikinis. She’d hesitated in front of the racks of swimsuits, but they hadn’t carried anything else. Then she’d grabbed a T-shirt. “I’ll just use this as a cover-up,” she’d said.
Now, as he went back to the changing room and pulled on the board shorts and T-shirt, he could practically visualize her in one of those bikinis. He had no doubt she would look fantastic in them.
Yet she still feels the need to hide.
Her condition hadn’t twisted her visibly—whatever treatment she’d received had taken care of her external appearance as best as possible—but it had clearly left her with insecurities. And he hated that for her.
Callum waited for her on a bench just past the entrance to the spa, watching as couples strolled through the adults-only area of the hot springs. This was a romantic getaway, for sure, which was probably why it felt so dangerous. They might have to go back to pretending to be a couple when they got back to Samara, but they weren’t one.
And it’s all feeling blurred.
After about thirty minutes, Liddy came out of the spa, wearing her T-shirt, her bikini bottoms peeking out past the hem. “You didn’t have to wait for me,” she said with a smile.
She looked refreshed, her cheeks pink and flushed.
“What else was I going to do? Go down the slide into the pool by myself? Grab a pina colada at the swim-up bar?”
“Oh, that sounds good. We’ll have to do that.” She glanced through the winding pathways that led to the springs. “But I’m dying to get in the hot springs. What about you?”
“Your wish is my command, my lady.”
“Thanks, Coach.”
He chuckled.If anyone else called me Coach like Liddy is doing, I’d probably want to deck them. But it’s...cute when she does it.Also worrying that he liked it so much.
They left their few belongings in lockers near the springs, but the T-shirt stayed on. He tugged at it. “You going to get this wet? It might weigh you down a bit.”
Liddy squirmed. “I don’t feel comfortable without it.”
He crossed his arms. “Have you ever worn a bikini?”
She shook her head, biting her lip.She has to stop doing that. It makes me want to do it.
“Okay.” He fought through his thoughts. “Then why not now? You’re somewhere you don’t know anyone—except me—and I promise not to look at you if you prefer.”
She laughed. “You’re going to spend the whole time at the hot springs with me but not look at me?”
He put his palms up. “If that’s what it takes for you to be comfortable.”
She shook her head, then said, “All right, fine. But I’ll be nice. You can’t look at me until we get in the water. And I’ll walk behind you.” She tugged the shirt up. “Turn around.”
Dutifully, he turned.Now what have I gone and promised?
She disappeared, stashing the shirt in the locker, then returned. “You know. I’m not sure if I trust you,” she said from behind. “Why don’t you keep your eyes closed until we’re in the water?”
“How the hell am I supposed to get to the water?”