Page 75 of Shadow Wings
I sighed and went to sit beside him on the rock. Dyter could come back as soon as he liked in my humble opinion. “Tyrrik,” I said. “When did you know we weremates?”
He slowly turned to me, and I saw the scales had a lapis lazuli glow to their onyx shine. His gaze dropped to my lips, and he said, “When I first touchedyou.”
“The nape of my neck,” I said. I remembered the moment; it was seared in mymemory.
A shiver rippled down him, and the twist of his neck was decidedly Drae. “Yes,” he rumbled, his guttural voice filling the rocky shelter. “The nape of your neck, though it could have beenanywhere.”
I remembered the pain, falling to my knees, knowing something had just happened to me, and chalking up the sensation to the Lord Drae before me. He’d known from the very first moment, our first meeting. He’d kept this to himself the entire time? His actions in the room with my mother took on new meaning, his desperation to get me out of my bedroom and away from the guards to save me from the king. My heart clenched as I thought of Tyrrik as Ty and about all the information he’d disclosed, the effort he’d made to be close to me while in prison. I thought of his tender ministrations as Tyr. He wasn’t just trying to clean up my blood to keep me from being discovered by the king. Tyr hadn’t needed to be gentle to wash the evidence away. He’d risked a lot to even bring me food. I thought of the emotion in his eyes when he’d come as Irrik to give me a bath. I’d thought I was part of some game, and I was right, just not about who he was playing for. My throat clogged with feeling. I swallowed the lump as the memories washed over me. Was Dyterright?
Tyrrik had been watching my face, and he slowly raised his fingers toward the nape of myneck.
His scent made me dizzy; his eyes stared to the deepest recesses in me. My head and my heart were no longer in agreement of the certainty I’d known a few minutes ago. That’s what made me jerk my upper bodyaway.
We were both panting hard with only an arm’s length between us. With wide eyes, we stared at eachother.
“Tyrrik, I . . .” I started then cut off. How could I put my reaction into words? How did I explain to him my doubts regardinghimshrank every day, no,every second, but my self-doubt onlygrew?
I felt him seal himself off. He pulled his energy back into himself, his expression smoothed, and his eyes hardened. He slid the mask he’d worn for a century back into place, and still I could not think of a word tosay.
“It is no less than I expected,” he said, his voicerough.
I reached out a hand, and this time it was Tyrrik who lurched away, going so far as tostand.
“It’s not you—” I said, even though there were some reservations against him in my heart. “I need time. Mating seems so . . .”Final.
“For Drae, there is no between,” Tyrrik said, brusquely. “Mates feel too much to be slowed by petty human traditions of courtship. You either accept me, or you do not.” His eyes turned to slits, and he spun away. “I cannot woo you as you would like orexpect.”
The comment slapped me across the face. “That’s too much to ask? To know youbetter?”
“Yes,” he said, striding for the edge of the shelter as blue-black scales covered his exposedskin.
Yes, it is,his final words echoed through ourbond.
* * *
Apartof me felt bad Dyter was stuck in the middle of the awkwardness between Tyrrik and me. Over the next two days, the cave was seriously uncomfortable and not because the only furniture it offered was rocks. More than once, I thought of offering an apology, but then what was I apologizing for? Binding was a serious decision, and I shouldn’t be guilted or manipulated into it. As for Dyter, he’d left me alone with the Drae, so maybe I shouldn’t feel bad about thateither.
Tyrrik needed time to regain his strength, and I’d be lying if I said my body wasn’t craving thesame.
The two days passed with hunting, drinking, sleeping, and Tyrrik’s sulking—or so I’d dubbed it. The Drae was back to his Lord Broody-Pants days, except without pants. He was sullen and withdrawn, only answering if he was asked a direct question, and then only with as few words aspossible.
On the other hand, I had every reason to be in a bad mood, which was why I felt no guilt for mygrumpiness.
I couldn’t understand his last comment. I’d assumed he wanted to mate with me; I still did, but if he wanted to be with me for life, which was a freakin’ long time judging by the emperor’s lifespan and the fact that Tyrrik had been alive for over a century, why didn’t he want to court me? The mate . . .thingdidn’t seem like an option really, although I wasn’t fully Drae, so things could be different for me. If being each other’s matewasn’tan option, why didn’t he want us to get to know eachother?
I’d spent yesterday certain he only wanted me for my baby-making ovaries. Then, most of today, I was sure I was only an annoyance to him, which reinforced my previous point about making Drae babies. But, a part of me, a little bit of Ryn, kept telling me I had it completely wrong. Thoughthat bit of Rynwas the part that felt warm when Tyrrik neared her and dizzy at hisscent.
That Ryn seemed a littleuntrustworthy.
And now, I was talking about myself in third person. Maybe I was going crazy. I nodded as I came to theconclusion.
Everything was on the up andup.
“We need to leave for Gemond today,” Tyrrik said, interrupting the internal assessment of mysanity.
Dyter glanced at me, and I replied to him, “Youneed another few days torecover.”
Dyter’s gaze slid to Tyrrik, who answered, “It’s not safe for us to stayhere.”