Page 21 of Black Crown
The Phaetyn stared at it, and I recalled the deep pull I’d had to touch Luna’s elm when I first saw it. A hint of fear entered Lani’s eyes, and she tore her gaze away, giving me her full attention again.
“You should touch it and find out.” I studied her as I reached back overhead to pat the thick bark. Was she scared of what she’d find if she touched it? Her memories of her mother had to be dim; she should be clamoring to touch the tree. But Lani and I hadn’t really talked about Luna much. Maybe there was a reason. Or was she feeling nervous about the results of her talk with Kamini? “So . . .” I said, breaking the awkward silence. “What’s the verdict?”
Her face brightened, and the tightness in my chest loosened.
“Tonight, I’ll be crowned Queen, and I’ll put the Veil back up.” She flashed me a smile, her pulse feathering. “They’re already setting the tables up for the feast.”
I continued to hold my stomach with one hand, propping myself up on an elbow. “You nervous?”
“If a tree falls and no one hears it, does it make a sound?”
“Um . . . I’m not sure what—”
“Yes,” she interrupted. “Yes, I’m nervous. Not about the barrier so much. It might require all my strength and focus to get it in place, but I know I can do that.”
“You’re worried they won’t accept you?” I asked softly.
The fifty-year-old child swallowed. I’d seriously never get past that. “Lani,” I said. “You’re funny and clever and strong. You’ve hidden from the emperor your entire life while helping people outside the forest. There’s no way these people won’t see what I see. And guess what?” I asked, a growl entering my voice. “You’re not really here to be liked; you’re here to save them from the emperor. If they know what’s good for them, they’ll follow you into his lair ten times over.”
Lani tipped her head back and sighed. “You’re right. I know you’re right, but I do want them to like me too.” She shrugged, looking very much like an insecure fifteen-year-old. “So, I have a few last minute jitters.”
I stood, my stomach emitting a groan. “That was my stomach. I swear. And you have zero need for jitters. I’d tell you if you did. Plus,” I said, “I’ll be there to have your back. If you want me to shift and scare the turd-twats, just tell me, and I’m on it.”
She eyed my middle. “Will I need to roll you in?”
“Itoldyou it’s a Drae thing. You think I wanted to eat so much? No, but I can’t deny the call of my instincts can I?” Hypocritical, considering I was attempting to do just that.
The Phaetyn choked on her laugh. “No, Ryn. Don’t ever do that.”
“I won’t,” I said, dusting the leafy debris from my butt. “Now, come here and touch your mother’s tree.”
Her eyes widened as I reached for her, and she stepped back.
“You’ll feel better for it,” I continued, waving her to me.
Lani raised her hands, warding me off. “It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s that I . . .”
I quirked my brows, totally not buying it. She was as scared as a scaredy thing in Scaredyville. “Yes?”
Her shoulders sagged. “I have an image in my head of what my mother was like. What if I’ve made her more than she was?”
She didn’t want to be disappointed. I closed my eyes, thinking of my mother. She’d almost seemed to dance when cooking or ladling my Phaetyn water into containers, and she was always smiling. I remembered how her brown eyes gained an amber glint whenever she teased me. She’d loved me so much she sacrificed everything for me. From what I knew about Luna, she was just as kind and loving. “You don’t have to look, Lani. But speaking for myself, I’d give almost anything to have a tree that could help me see my mother again.” I blinked back the burning in my eyes and continued hoarsely, “And I’ve seen your mother. There’s no way you’ll be disappointed. She was a beautiful . . . amazing person.”
Lani searched my face, her chest rising and falling in rapid succession until she took a deep breath. “You’re right. The tree is a gift.”
I nodded, unable to say anything else without crying, probably even ugly-bawling. As Lani approached the tree, I turned to leave.
“Ryn?” she called before I could get more than a few steps.
I paused, still fighting the emotion clogging my throat and blurring my vision.
“Could you stay?”
I nodded again and took a seat once more. The silence lulled me, and after blinking away my tears, I reached out.Tyrrik?
Mate.
Where are you?The urge to see him was making me nauseous—though that could also have been the fifth peach I ate.