Page 48 of Moon Claimed
There was a way out of this.
I just had to find it.
* * *
“I realise it’s an irregular request,” I smiled slightly.
Nathan frowned. “That’s one word for it. It will send a message that you want to be separated from the stewards.”
Forest, forest, forest.
My teeth ached something ferocious. I could assume they wanted to sink into Nathan’s neck.
“Only if we portray it that way,” I pressed. “Cast in another light, I could just wish to experience life as they do. I could be one of them.”
Roderick hummed. “You’d be outside the protection of the manor.”
“If stewards’ houses are less secure than the manor, then that is of concern to me,” I said coolly.
Every emotion had to be cool and calm. Not white hot and furious. I couldn’t let frustration take over. Or any strong feeling.
Not now. Not ever again.
That’s when my Luther symptoms ramped up.
“You know what I mean,” he replied. “You have a larger target on your head than most. We can’t forget the attack on you in Water.”
“Tell us why again,” Pascal said in the quiet wake.
Shocked was an apt description of how they’d been since I mentioned moving out of the manor. There were two free cabins—I’d checked with Eleanor. One sat at the far outskirts of our territory.
There, I’d have a shot at hiding the truth.
I spread my hands on the table. “I’m not used to so many people around all the time. It’s affecting my focus. I can’t sustain a healthy balance this way, so I have to alter something. I’ll be at the manor from dawn until dusk each day, and available at all hours of the day by phone. But for me, living away from the manor creates a clear line in my mind that will allow me to switch off in the evening. I’m not sleeping. What sleep I do get isn’t restful. My mind isn’t leaving work, so to speak.”
“That’s why you’re not sleeping?” Rhona asked.
She didn’t believe me. “I’d be lying if I said the events of the last two months aren’t affecting me too. I lost my mother—or the woman I assumed was her. Then the father I thought was my uncle. I’m processing their deaths and their lies, but I need space to do that.”
The others fell silent.
My move didn’t look good—Nathan was right, for once. But I couldn’t transform into a Luther in the damn manor.
If this compromise was made, then I could stay.
If it wasn’t, I’d leave tonight.
I held Rhona’s gaze, clinging to my invisible forest.Please understand.
“I don’t like it,” she said. “You’re too vulnerable out there.”
Fuck.
She straightened. “I’ll live out there with you.”
“We can’t put both of us at risk.”
“Just you, right?” she drawled.