Page 136 of Wolf Roulette
Stopping short of my desk, I peered to where my saxophone case leaned against the far bookcase. Would I feel any connection to Savannah in time?
Crossing the room, I worked the case clasps free and fitted the instrument together.
I studied the worn brass.
I’d played this for Axel not so long ago.
But he wasn’t here now.
Did that mean I couldn’t play?
Wetting my reed first, I fixed it in place, then drew my lips in around the mouthpiece and blew a middle C.
The note blared from the bell.
I swallowed hard as Ragna’s voice rang in my ears.
Play me more, so I can remember.
Usually the note would resonate in my chest too.
I tried again with the same note, but if there was a connection there, I couldn’t feel it.
Selecting one of my go-to favourites, I played the opening bars of “Feeling Good” by Nina Simone.
The sound didn’t fill me with happiness. In fact, the idea of playing made me so veryunhappy.
Lump rising in my throat, I rested the instrument on top of the case.
I couldn’t play it anymore.
My music was as inaccessible now as when I first heard Ragna wasn’t my mother.
And I didn’t see that changing.
* * *
How tense could someone get before they snapped into jigsaw pieces? “I swear the game gets worse each week.”
Shouldn’t it work the other way?
From the back seat, Cam squeezed my shoulder. “We’ve got this.”
Stewards only got two hours to memorize the new operation this morning after the order finally arrived. If the operation didn’t work, I wasn’t sure we’d have enough to win Sandstone.
Losing Grids tonight would mean defending one of our grids next week before we could come back. Two more weeks without Sascha.
Love encompassed so many damn emotions, and misery was high on the list right now.
We parked, and I went to wait at my usual Sandstone spot while the others changed.
I inhaled and stiffened. “Rhona.”
She stepped into view from behind a vehicle. “I’m not here to play. I came to ask if I can watch the game from the tower with you and Pascal.”
Unexpected.
Nefarious?