Page 48 of Wolf Roulette

I’d prefer that he use actual words, but hehadfigured another way to convey his meaning.

I relented. “You’d like me to play?”

Axel wagged his tail.

I exhaled. “That’s not easy for me to do, big pup.”

He cocked an ear.

Cool.Looked like I was about to spill my guts to the pack.Oh, well. I couldn’t feel any worse after the failed date with Sascha.

“I used to play for my mother because she loved the sound,” I told the pup. “Then I found out she wasn’t my mother. I don’t know who to play for anymore, and I’m scared that playing will never feel the same again.”

An edited version for a toddler. Even looking at the brass instrument was a punch to the gut. Once, music offered me an escape.

Now, I was a daughter who wanted a mother.

Axel licked my leg. He felt terrible on my behalf.

“Thank you.”

The others weren’t concealing their eavesdropping one bit.

The pup nudged the instrument toward me.

A denial halted on the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed it back. “That’s a very hard thing you’re asking me to do, Axel. Do you understand how scared I am?”

My heart squeezed as he took a moment before nodding again.

With trembling fingers, I freed the instrument. “Sometimes, we must do frightening things even when we don’t wish to. I’ll play for you because I want you to know that some hard things are worth doing.”

Grabbing a reed, I shoved it in my mouth, my every movement observed by the nervous pup.

Fixing the reed in place, I settled my fingers on the keys.

I’d avoided playing for so long.

I didn’t want to do this. But on this occasion, I had a reason to play.

Taking a breath, I drew in my mouth around the mouthpiece, and the first notes of “Gravity” by John Mayer soared from the bell.

Years of practice made me loosen my throat to create a richer sound. I moved into the piece like it was the first time I’d ever played.

In some ways, it was.

Instead of going to my forest, I focused on the pup before me.

I moved into the guitar solo, which transcribed so well to saxophone, and added some extra embellishments. Nothing too much. This song was beautiful in its simplicity.

Building in a slow crescendo so reminiscent of John Mayer’s soft rock blues. Softening for the final bars, I stuck to a simple harmony of the melody, repeating it until I drew the song to a close.

Lowering the saxophone, I smiled. “Thank you for helping me, Axel.”

He wasn’t as exuberant as I’d expected.

The pup whined and sank to the ground. My eyes widened at a loudcrack.

I covered my mouth.