Page 48 of Wolf Roulette
I’d prefer that he use actual words, but hehadfigured another way to convey his meaning.
I relented. “You’d like me to play?”
Axel wagged his tail.
I exhaled. “That’s not easy for me to do, big pup.”
He cocked an ear.
Cool.Looked like I was about to spill my guts to the pack.Oh, well. I couldn’t feel any worse after the failed date with Sascha.
“I used to play for my mother because she loved the sound,” I told the pup. “Then I found out she wasn’t my mother. I don’t know who to play for anymore, and I’m scared that playing will never feel the same again.”
An edited version for a toddler. Even looking at the brass instrument was a punch to the gut. Once, music offered me an escape.
Now, I was a daughter who wanted a mother.
Axel licked my leg. He felt terrible on my behalf.
“Thank you.”
The others weren’t concealing their eavesdropping one bit.
The pup nudged the instrument toward me.
A denial halted on the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed it back. “That’s a very hard thing you’re asking me to do, Axel. Do you understand how scared I am?”
My heart squeezed as he took a moment before nodding again.
With trembling fingers, I freed the instrument. “Sometimes, we must do frightening things even when we don’t wish to. I’ll play for you because I want you to know that some hard things are worth doing.”
Grabbing a reed, I shoved it in my mouth, my every movement observed by the nervous pup.
Fixing the reed in place, I settled my fingers on the keys.
I’d avoided playing for so long.
I didn’t want to do this. But on this occasion, I had a reason to play.
Taking a breath, I drew in my mouth around the mouthpiece, and the first notes of “Gravity” by John Mayer soared from the bell.
Years of practice made me loosen my throat to create a richer sound. I moved into the piece like it was the first time I’d ever played.
In some ways, it was.
Instead of going to my forest, I focused on the pup before me.
I moved into the guitar solo, which transcribed so well to saxophone, and added some extra embellishments. Nothing too much. This song was beautiful in its simplicity.
Building in a slow crescendo so reminiscent of John Mayer’s soft rock blues. Softening for the final bars, I stuck to a simple harmony of the melody, repeating it until I drew the song to a close.
Lowering the saxophone, I smiled. “Thank you for helping me, Axel.”
He wasn’t as exuberant as I’d expected.
The pup whined and sank to the ground. My eyes widened at a loudcrack.
I covered my mouth.