Page 25 of Only and Forever
He opens his mouth halfheartedly, and I drop the chocolate in. Dutifully, he starts to chew. I unwrap another one and slip it in his mouth. “That one, too.”
“So bossy,” he mutters, eyes shut, sighing heavily. “Can’t you wait until I feel good enough to enjoy it?”
I roll my eyes. “Stop talking and start chewing.”
He blinks slowly, scrubbing at his face as he chews. He seems a little more alert, the color in his face better. The chocolate is working its magic. “I meant to eat something earlier, but I just got so busy with making sure everything was perfect.”
“For a, and I quote, ‘super-soft opening.’ ” I cross my arms over my chest. “For your family to see your space. That you got so carried away, when it’s only for them, does not bode well for when you officially open.”
“I know,” he says, his voice still a little bleary. I rummage around in my purse and find a small bag of fruit snacks. I rip them open, grip his hand, dump them in his palm, then bring his palm to his mouth. Viggo chews slowly, saying around his bite, “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” I mutter, shoving the fruit snack wrapper back into my purse.
“Whew.” Head still back, he blinks up at the ceiling. “I feel human again.”
“Funny, how eating will do that for you.”
Viggo drops his head, lifts his ball cap until his eyes can find mine, stretches out his legs. They’re so long, they bracket mine where I stand peering down at him. “Didyouget anything to eat when you came?” he asks.
“No. I wasn’t hungry.”
“Well, there wasn’t much left, either, by the time you got here.” His eyes search mine. “Why were you so late?”
Like hell am I going to admit that I was having a wardrobe crisis, much too preoccupied about how I looked for someone whose opinion of me and my appearance I definitely don’t care about.
“I... had some inspiration strike for the book,” I lie. “Had to get the words down before I lost them. I told Charlie and Gigi to go ahead without me.”
He smiles. “Well, that’s good, that inspiration struck. Is this your third book?”
Shame and frustration twist inside me. “The second one, still.”
His eyebrows lift. Slowly, he sits up in his seat. “Aw, Lu—”
“Nope.” I shake my head. “No pity parties here. I’m not pitying you and this badass bookstore you put together. You’re not pitying me and my great book that I’m taking great time to work on.”
Great books take great time.
My publisher didn’t love Viggo’s line, which I threw their way, but they respected it. I’m taking the time I need to get this book right. Even if I’m still struggling like hell to do it.
Viggo smiles softly. “No pity. Just... empathy. It’s hard when the things we want take longer than we’d like to materialize. And respect—I’m glad you put your foot down.”
“Yeah, well...” I shrug, adjusting my purse so it sits higher on my shoulder. “It was necessary.”
For a moment, quiet hangs between us. I shift on my feet. I should go.
“Say, would you want to...” Tipping his head, Viggo peers up at me. He bites his lip. “Nah, forget it.”
This is my moment. Whatever he was going to say, he stopped himself, withdrew the olive branch, whatever friendly offer he was about to extend. I should latch on to that. Leave. He’s fine now. His super-soft opening went well. I showed up, congratulated him. My conscience is clear, the regret I felt for being so prickly to someone so softhearted erased, now that I’ve come here, done what I told myself I would. Now is when I walk out and never look back.
But instead, I watch myself, as if outside my body while it overrides my good sense, halfheartedly kicking his booted foot. “Would I what?”
Viggo smiles, slow and weary, slouched in his chair, ball capknocked back. “I was gonna ask if you’d want to grab a bite to eat. I could go for a big pile of noodles. There’s a great Chinese place not too far from here, about ten minutes down the road, driving. But then I figured, you probably don’t want to do that.”
Tell him he’s right. Say goodbye. Walk out that door and just keep walking.
But what waits for me if I leave now? Going back to Charlie’s, where I’ve been crashing the past week since my landlord very illegally gave me very little notice to move out because he’d sold the house I spent way too much money this past year renting all by myself, only to have to face Charlie and Gigi, who I’m deeply annoyed tricked me into this intimate gathering? Even if I drove around for a while and came back, I’d still have to face my sofa bed and a laptop with a Word doc bearing an accusatorily low word count.
I buy myself time by pulling out my phone, checking my CGM via the app. My sugar is in range, so I’m safe to drive, and I’ll be good until I figure out what I’m going to eat.