Page 30 of Only and Forever
I choke on my noodles, coughing roughly. After I’ve managed to clear my windpipe, I take a deep drink of water.
Tallulah’s glaring at me furiously. “Forget it.”
“No, Lula!” I say hoarsely, knocking a fist to my chest as I clear my throat again. “I’m notagainstit. Just, the idea of you, ringing up books, taking latte orders...”
Tallulah’s quiet. Her gaze dips to her noodles, which she stabs with her chopsticks. Her expression is ice, hard and frigid. That’s the girl who stonewalled me in college. The woman who took a drink and disappeared on me last year at the A-frame.
I don’t like it at all. I like the woman I saw glimpses of over coffee the next morning, the woman who showed up tonight and let me give her the grand tour of the store, who teased but never demeaned, who shoved chocolate in my mouth when I got light-headed and gave me hell for neglecting myself.
I want that woman back. I have no idea how to do that, and it bugs me much more than it should.
“You think I’m too precious to work at a bookstore?” she says tightly.
My heart jumps. It’s not much, but... it’s her, speaking up, talking to me.
“Of course not, Lu. You’re just a big deal, you know? You’re anestablished, successful author. I should be rolling out the red carpet, hosting an event for you, not sticking you behind a counter to ring up books.”
“Maybe I want to do that,” she says, her voice quiet but firm. “Maybe I’m sick of staring at a computer screen, hating what I’m writing and hating that I feel stuck. Maybe I want todosomething different and get out of my head.”
“Well...” I lean my elbows on the table, bracketing my plate, chopsticks wedged in the noodles. “Maybe we can help each other, then. You want to help me with the store. Why don’t you let me help you with the book? Talk to me. Tell me about it.”
Tallulah freezes, chopsticks halfway to her mouth. Slowly, she lowers them back to her plate. “I don’t see how telling you about it will help me.”
“You ever done talk therapy?”
Her eyebrows lift. “No.”
“Highly recommend.” I lean back, stretching an arm across the back of the booth. “Talking with a therapist who echoes back to you what you’re saying helps you gain a fresh perspective, insight into what you’re dealing with. It can be very illuminating, talking it through with an expert.”
“And you’re anexperton thrillers?” she asks pointedly.
“I love books. I’ve read your thriller, a couple others that came highly recommended.” I shrug. “Maybe that’s enough. Humor me. Try it.”
On a heavy sigh, Tallulah pokes around her noodles. She’s quiet, and I can see she’s deliberating before she finally says, “When the story starts, the main characters, a husband and wife, seem happily married.”
“And then...?”
She sighs again. “And then my editor said their relationship ‘lacks a stitch of soul or sensuality.’ ”
I grimace. “Ouch.”
“Indeed,” Tallulah mutters, stabbing her noodles with her chopsticks. She unearths a snow pea and crunches on it.
“Can I ask, for being someone who doesn’t seem too keen on romance, unless I’m wrong—”
“You’re not,” she says around her bite. “I am romance averse. In fiction and in real life.”
I take a deep breath, then exhale.Don’t ask her why. She doesn’t need you grilling her about her life and love philosophies right now.“For being someone who’s not big on romance, why are you writing a romantic relationship between your main characters?”
She’s quiet for a minute, chewing. I watch her swallow, then reach for her water glass and take a deep drink. “Because I want to make a point. And that point won’t be made if I can’t write a convincingly intimate romantic relationship at the outset.” Her eyes widen. “Wait. Youwouldbe the perfect person to help me with this book. I need someone who loves all that love stuff to help me sort out their dynamic. Who better than a romance reader?”
I smile. “I’d be honored to help you give your characters the happily ever after they deserve. Sounds great. A high-stakes thriller with a strong romantic subplot...” My voice dies off.
Tallulah avoids my gaze, swirling her straw in her water.
“Wait a second.” My eyes narrow. “Are you going to leverage my background in romance only to murder their relationship along with whoever else you brutally off in this book?”
Tallulah is quiet. Abandons the straw. Fiddles with her bright blue hair in its twisted bun. “I mean,maybe—”