Page 61 of Only and Forever
Oliver watches me closely as I scoop up one of the kittens with fluffy gray fur and big golden eyes. “How are things going so far, with her living here?”
Oh, swell. It’s just been a week and change of sexual tension, bickering, and making out on the store floor.
I shrug. “Okay.”
“You’ve got a thing for her, don’t you?”
I focus on the kitten. “Define ‘thing.’ ”
“A crush.”
“Yeah, I do. She’s sharp and chilly, but she can also be sweet and warm, when she wants to be.” I frown at the kitten as she nips me. “Sort of like a cat. She’s sexy as hell. It’s just a physical thing. You know how it goes, sometimes.”
Oliver lifts his eyebrows. “I do. I felt that way about Gavin.”
I jerk my head his way. “I don’t feelthatway about Tallulah.”
“I didn’t feelthatway about Gavin, either,” he says. “Not at first. Not for a while. He pissed me off for a long time, but that didn’t make him any less attractive to me.”
The hairs on my neck stand up. I roll my shoulders back, picking up the black-and-white kitten with green eyes. “I’m debating getting tiny kitten harnesses so we can all go for walks together.”
Oliver rolls his eyes. “V, you’re so bad at changing the subject—”
“That’s not us, okay, Oliver?” It comes out sharper than I mean it to, but I do mean what I say. “Tallulah and I... we’ve got chemistry, but we’re not... we’re not going to be more than that. We are strictly platonic roommates. She doesn’t want romance, doesn’t believe in love, isn’t looking for it. And if that doesn’t tell you enough about how incompatible we are, when I’m with her, I don’t feel those feelings I’m waiting for.”
Oliver’s quiet, petting the orange kitten who crawls across his lap. “What feelings are those?”
“Don’tmake fun of me,” I warn.
He raises his free hand, which isn’t occupied with petting a kitten. “I won’t.”
Scratching the black-and-white one’s chin, I tell him, “Those... butterfly feelings. That sense that I’ve found my best friend, my perfect partner. The puzzle-piece-slipping-into-place click of rightness.”
Oliver’s quiet. I glance his way, surprised to see him frowning in thought. Oliver doesn’t frown often.
“What?” I ask.
He hesitates for a moment, like he’s weighing his words. “I justwonder if maybe you’re possibly relying alittletoo heavily on romance novels to shape your expectations. Don’t get me wrong—there’s a lot in romance novels that speaks to real life, and beautifully, for that matter, but... there are also parts that are maybe a bit... unrealistic?”
“I do recognize, to my profound disappointment, that romance novels don’t comprehensively reflect reality, but I still think there’s something to be said for feeling the magic of finding your person, knowing they’re right for you. I’m someone who needs that, who’s hardwired to hold out for that epic kind of love. I think that’s why I love romance novels the way I do, why I’ve gone this long, meeting so many fun, attractive people that I have a good time with, but never want to go further than a date or two, even though I’m actively looking for that kind of connection.”
Oliver tips his head, biting his lip. “All right, well, you know yourself best. If that’s what you think you’re looking for and why you’re looking for it, I respect that, V.”
As he says that, the white and calico kittens crawl onto my lap, then up my thighs, before they tumble into a ball of play-fighting fur.
“Hey, look,” Ollie says. “It’s us.”
I laugh.
“So, have you named them?” he asks.
I don’t tell him that I was waiting for Tallulah to come back and help me with that task. That, when Wesley dropped them off yesterday morning, the first thing I thought was that the gray one’s eyes were the same shade as Tallulah’s—sunlit amber.
“Nope,” I tell him.
“Well, I’d be glad to assist.” Oliver picks up the orange one, inspecting her face. “How about we name you... Cheddar.”
“Seriously, man? Cheese?”