Page 80 of Only and Forever
After a successful team practice this morning and a disciplined day of writing (me) and final inventory (him), we treated ourselves again to the Korean place we tried last weekend and loved.
I sigh contentedly, sated, relaxed among the fragrant blossoms and winding vines that make up Viggo’s little outdoor patio oasis, and tell him, “I surrender.” Groaning, I snap on the lid of my to-go container of bibimbap on the table, then slump back in my chair.
“Same.” He dabs his mouth with a napkin before tossing it onto the table, too.
He has some rice in his beard. Leaning in, I brush it away. Our faces are close, so close I can see the clouds reflected in his eyes.
“Stragglers?” he asks.
I nod, letting my hand fall.
Viggo smiles. His gaze dips to my mouth, then away. He sits back on his seat. “Thanks for looking out for me.”
“Happy to.”
He tips his head, smile deepening.
“What?” I ask.
“Just... had one of those moments. Déjà vu.”
A thrill runs through me. “I’ve had déjà vu with you, too.”
His eyebrows lift. “Really?”
I nod. “First morning I was here.”
His smile fades. I stare at him. A very strange need creeps up inside me. All week, since talking to Charlie, mulling over what we talked about, it’s been building—this need to feel close to him. To touch him, smell him, burrow close.
I don’t want sex with him. Well... maybe it’s more accurate to say that I don’t want sex with himright now, not just yet. I want something in between. Something I’ve never wanted before.
Viggo holds my eyes as he sips his seltzer. I feel nervous and needy. Unsure.
We’ll be brave together. Little bit by little bit.
“Viggo?”
“Hmm?”
I swallow, then take a deep breath. “You know how we’ve... acknowledged we’re attracted to each other? How we’ve acted on that a couple times.”
He swallows, too, then sits up, setting down his seltzer can. “I do, Lula. I’ve actually been thinking... maybe we should talk about that.”
My heart pounds. Anxiety spins through me, scattering my courage. “I have, too. But...”
His eyes search mine. “But?”
“But before we do, I was wondering, if you’re comfortable with it, and obviously, it’s totally okay if not... if we could... cuddle.”
A soft, surprised smile lifts his mouth. “You want to cuddle?”
My voice is shaky as I knit my hands together so tight it hurts and tell him, “I’ve never done it before. But from what I’ve heard about cuddling... it sounds like something I could use right about now.”
Viggo’s expression blanks. “You’ve nevercuddled?”
I shake my head quickly. “Parents never did it. Maybe I’ve cuddled Charlie before, when she was little and she was upset? But...”
“No one’s ever cuddledyou,” he says quietly.