Page 63 of Fallen Stars
“Of what?” Elara frowned.
“That I was cursed in love. The god of it himself said that he saw no love in my future.”
Eli tutted to Merissa’s surprise. “Take it from me, little Star. Your brother speaks out of his arse half the time.”
Elara nodded ferociously. “This is obviously a load of horseshit. Look at how muchIlove you. And even Leo. Gods know what he’s thinking, but even if you just remain friends after all this, helovesyou too.”
“This is getting a little too sentimental for me,” Eli said. “I’ll be out in the hall.”
“Be sure the door doesn’t hit you with some normal feelings on the way out,” Elara retorted sweetly, shooing him.
Merissa shrugged as he left, pretending to adjust her brassiere in the mirror.
It wasn’t that she was necessarily heartbroken over Leo. Of course she adored him. Had begun to desire him the last year. And yet it was more the emptiness of being alone that scared her, not that it was Leo particularly who had broken things off. Things…she admonished herself. As though anything had even started at all but a kiss amongst shadowed alcoves.
She thought back to her flings over the years, few and far between. As Merissa had grown into herself, her teen years promising the beauty she was bound to become, she had been the object of many men’s desires. And yet the moment a kiss or more had ensued, the moment she had even allowed herself to think that it could turn into something more, that she could beloved, it had always crumbled away in her palm.
“I have to set sail tomorrow,” they’d say or, “I’m betrothed to another,” or her favourite one, and at least the most honest, “I said all that just to get you into bed.” She snorted. Yes, he had been a real charmer.
Merissa understood. Most thought her vapid. She was the daughter of the Star of lust for gods’ sake, sister of the one of love! And what powers did she possess? The ability to make someone look pretty, some pink starlight?
She shook her head, licking the remaining spun sugar off her finger as Elara continued to watch her with worry.
This was exactly why Merissa had wanted to get away from that life, one filled with Stars. It was why she had shunned her mother and brother and resolved to make it on her own.
And still…even sweet, darling Leo didn’t want her in the romantic sense.
Elara began talking again, and Merissa snapped back into the room. “I’m just going to put Astra to bed, then I’ll make sure Isra is ready. I need to exercise this magick, so I’ll meet you in The Remains in an hour. Stay with Eli. You’re safer without me accompanying you all.”
Merissa nodded vacantly.
“Mer, you are going to find your love. If not in Leo, then in another, okay? I know it.”
Merissa forced a smile, walking Elara to the door. She held it until Elara left then slumped against it.
She sighed, the familiar ache in her heart spreading throughout her chest as she rose. She wished she was more like Elara or Isra. Fiercer, more outspoken. Or even like Eli. Colder, with less feelings. But Merissa had always understood mortal nature too well. Had always forgiven too quickly and accepted why she was being rejected.
For whatever reason, she just wasn’tenough.
“Stelle sapium,” she muttered, returning to the mirror.
It was an old Aphrodean saying, one she kept with her at all times. “Only the Stars know,” it roughly translated to. Aphrodeans said it to one another when they were losing faith or had no way to see how things could possibly get better. For Merissa, it had kept her company on the nights she sobbed on the floor from heartbreak or felt another part of her heart freezing over.
It had been a comfort, a hope that there was something greater out there that had a plan, even when she could not see it.
She put a few finishing touches to herself, a flick of kohl, a dazzle of crushed jewels to her lips.
She had made her decision. She would go along with Eli’s plan. Her nerves fluttered at the thought. What they were going into was dangerous; what Merissa would have to do even more so. But for once, Merissa didn’t want to be a pretty face against the back wall.
She nodded. Tonight, she was going to take charge of her life.
Chapter Twenty-One
The night surrounded Elara as shefell. She reached an elegant hand out, shadows drifting from them as she continued to float, the rumble of the city below a music to her ears. She drifted through the sky, time slowing around her as she continued to fall, closing her eyes. Perhaps if she just stayed—
A hard thud jolted her as her dragun formed beneath her, scaled wings stretching out into the dark, the wisps of shadow curling and blending with the midnight sky. She dug hands into the hard hind of its neck, willing it to speed up with merely a thought.
They soared over the city, the night coming alive as raucous drunkards sang outside taverns and sweet murmurs from courtesans drifted up to her. For once, she was on time, the strike of midnight chiming through the city as she scanned it below for Eli. She squinted as her dragun arrived over The Remains, willing it to fly lower. She spotted two figures with him, and her stomach lurched, the same way it had when Eli had suggested his plan to her. They all had to see it through. There was no other option.