Page 107 of Bid For Me

Everything between us has been full of maybes. Maybe he loves me. Maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he’s trustworthy. Maybe he’s playing me. Maybe this is all just a game to him, one he’s been playing so well that even I’ve started to wonder if I’m the one who’s lost.

I swallow hard, forcing the lump in my throat down. “You should’ve asked me, Seb. You should’ve trusted me. I was never trying to trap you. I wasn’t trying to trap anyone. This was always your idea.” I laugh, but it’s harsh and humourless. “I just wanted to get laid, remember?”

“I know. I know,” he murmurs, and I can see the guilt and frustration in his eyes. “I was stupid. I was so stupid, Elle. I...I just didn’t want to lose you. I didn’t want to be stuck in this contract, stuck in a life I never asked for. And then my father...” His voice falters, his hand dropping to his side in defeat. “I let him mess with my head. I let him twist everything. And now, look where we are. I fucked up. I know that. And I’m sorry.”

The words sound sincere, but I can’t decide if they’re enough. Ifhe’senough. I never asked for any of this. I never wanted it to be Sebastian who bid on me. I never wanted romance. Didn’t want to fall in love. I just wanted to lose my virginity, so I could start exploring all of my desires and fantasies.

Instead, I’m one breath away from heartbreak.

Something I never asked for.

How the hell do we get ourselves out of this mess?

There’s still a contract between us. A prenup. And there’s still secrets and lies.

I look away from him, unable to bear the intensity of his gaze any longer.

“You don’t get to come in here, crawl into my bed, and act like everything’s okay now, Seb. You’ve made me feel like a fool. Like I’m the one who’s always been in the wrong, like I’m the one trying to trap you. And now you want to apologise because you finally get it?”

He flinches, but I don’t stop. The anger I’ve been holding in starts to spill out, a simmering volcano ready to explode. “You think that makes everything better? That your apology makes up for all the lies, the games, the fucking contract you never bothered to question? The way you let your father control everything, including me?”

His face tightens, his jaw setting as though he’s trying to hold onto his composure. But his eyes...they’re lost. Like he’s searching for something in me, something that’s not there yet. Something he doesn’t deserve.

“I’m not asking you to forgive me right away, Elle,” he says quietly. “I’m not even asking for your trust right now. I know we’ve not been together long, and god knows I’ve screwed up too much in that time, but with my father no longer in control, we can finally live our life together. All I want is a chance to prove that I can be the man you need. The man whodeservesyou.”

I don’t know how to respond to that. Part of me wants to scream at him, to tell him that he’ll never be that man, that he’ll never be enough. But another part of me – the part I hate – wants to believe him, wants to let myself lean into him, to fall into the comfort he offers with those broken words.

But I can’t. I can’t let myself fall for this again.

I can’t let him see how much he’s hurt me. How much it’s broken me. He can’t know how much I love him.

So I exhale sharply, my heart pounding. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with you anymore, Seb. You’ve broken me. And I don’t know if I can fix this –us.”

He leans closer, his breath warm on my skin as he whispers, “Then let me fix it. Let me try. Let me be your husband for real. Not because of some contract or deal or fucking prenup. Let me be your one and only. The one person in this world you can rely on for anything. I swear to you Elle, I can be that guy. I will be that guy. I want our marriage to be real.”

I close my eyes, trying to breathe through the chaos inside me. The part of me that wants to push him away, to tell him to leave. The part of me that still feels the pull of him, of what wecouldbe, if we weren’t both so broken.

But I’m too tired for this. Too tired for games. For contracts. For people manipulating me.

“I can’t right now,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. “I need space, Seb. I need to think.”

His expression falters, but he nods slowly. He doesn’t push me. Not now.

“I’ll give you space,” he says, his voice raw. “But I’m not going anywhere. And I’ll keep proving to you that I can be better. I mean it, Elle. I’m all in with you. With us. However long it takes.”

I don’t know if I believe him. I don’t know if I ever will.

But I want to.

I flee to my apartment, spend the rest of the week there eating takeout and avoiding everyone, before putting on my big girl panties and dragging my ass to work the following Monday morning.

True to his word, Seb has been giving me space, but the same cannot be said for Candy, who has been blowing up my phone non-stop.

I’m not even surprised when she marches through the door of the boutique ten minutes before closing.

“Elle,” she starts, hands on her hips, her eyes narrowed in that familiar, fierce way. “We need to talk.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. The tension that’s been gnawing at me all weekend hits me again, a heavy weight pressing down on my chest. I straighten up, forcing myself to act like I’m in control, even though I feel like I’m one bad decision away from losing my shit.