Page 44 of Bid For Me
The question hangs in the air between us, and I feel the weight of it settle over me. Do I? The instinctive answer rises in my chest, and the truth of it scares me more than anything.
“I…I think I do,” I admit, my voice barely audible.
With my body at least.
With my heart?
Never.
Seb’s expression softens, and his thumb brushes against my cheek, wiping away a tear I didn’t realise had fallen. “You do,” hesays firmly. “Your body trusts me, even when your mind fights it. And I’ll never abuse that trust, Elle. Never.”
His words wrap around me, grounding me in a way I can’t explain. The knot in my chest loosens, and I release a shaky breath, my head dropping back against his shoulder.
“I feel so exposed,” I murmur.
Seb presses a kiss to the top of my head. “That’s because I see you,” he says quietly. “The real you. And I like what I see.”
A lump rises in my throat at his words, but I push past it, letting myself sink into the warmth of his embrace. “I hate you,” I say weakly, the words lacking any real bite.
Seb chuckles, the sound rumbling through his chest. “You’re terrible at lying, Elle. Always were.”
His arms tighten around me, his hand resting on the curve of my hip as his lips brush my forehead. “You’re mine,” he says again, but there’s no harshness to the declaration this time – only quiet certainty.
And for the first time, I don’t feel the need to argue. Instead, I let the weight of those words settle over me, like a safety net I didn’t realise I craved.
“I’m yours,” I whisper, the admission slipping out before I can stop it.
At least until the contract is over and you discard me. Then I’ll still be yours, but broken and ruined for anyone else.
Seb’s smile is slow and satisfied, but his tone is soft when he responds. “And I’ll take care of you, Elle. Always.”
Always being for twelve months. The duration of the sham of our marriage.
The words linger in the air, a promise that feels as solid and unshakable as the man holding me, but I can’t help my bitter doubts.
Seb’s arms hold me tightly, his body solid and reassuring against mine. The weight of the moment wraps around us likethe duvet, thick and inescapable. I close my eyes, trying to steady my breathing, but the storm inside me refuses to settle.
“Say it again,” he murmurs, his lips brushing my temple.
I hesitate, my heart pounding. I know exactly what he means. But the more I say it, the more I believe it, and then it’ll be even harder to let him go.
“I’m yours,” I whisper again, the words tasting like ash on my tongue. Because it’s not a lie, no, it’s the bitter truth.
He exhales a low, satisfied sound, and pulls me even closer. “Good girl,” he murmurs, his voice soft but laced with something unyielding. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”
The vulnerability in his tone surprises me, and I tilt my head to look up at him. His face is softer now, his features no longer clouded by dominance but by something deeper – something that makes my chest ache.
“You mean it,” I say, the realisation dawning on me. “This isn’t just about control for you.”
Seb’s jaw tightens slightly, and he brushes a strand of hair from my face, his touch tender. “No, Elle,” he says quietly. “It’s never just about control. It’s about you. Always you.”
The weight of his gaze presses against me, stripping me bare in a way that has nothing to do with my body. I want to look away, to shield myself, but I don’t. I can’t.
“I don’t know how to handle this,” I admit, my voice trembling. “You make me feel...exposed, but safe at the same time. It’s confusing.”
Seb strokes his thumb along my cheek, grounding me. “That’s because you’re not used to letting someone take care of you. You’re so used to fighting, keeping your guard up.”
“Maybe I have to,” I say defensively, the words sharper than I intend.