Page 48 of Bid For Me

The softness of the sheets, the faint scent of Seb still lingering in the air – it all feels like a dream. But the absence of him beside me is the harshest reality. I sit up, wrapping the blanket around myself, feeling the weight of his departure press down on my chest. I should have known he’d leave. He always does.

I can still feel the heat of his touch, but now that it’s over, it feels like I’m left with nothing but the echo of his absence, the warmth of it fading into the cold reality of his departure.

God, what is wrong with me?

I reach for my phone, mindlessly scrolling through it as if it can distract me from the gnawing feeling of embarrassment andshame. I can’t help but feel like an idiot. He probably left, not wanting to wake me, but he also doesn’t need to stick around.

The sound of a soft knock at the door jerks me from my thoughts. Before I can even get up, the door creaks open, and Candy steps in. She’s smiling, her eyes bright with mischief as she walks over to the bed, her tone teasing, and slips into the sweat-soaked sheets beside me without a single word of complaint.

“Well, well. Looks like someone had agoodnight,” she says, grinning.

I bury my face in my hands, wanting to hide from her, from myself. “Don’t,” I mutter. “He’s gone. And I’m—” I don’t know what I’m feeling. Embarrassed? Hurt? Disappointed? “Still a virgin.”

“Hey, hey,” Candy says gently, sitting beside me on the bed. “It’s okay. The plan worked. He’s feral for you, Elle. I saw it in his eyes. He wants you. All of you.”

I glance at her, shaking my head. “No. It was just...sex. Ish. It wasjusta punishment. Nothing more.”

Candy raises an eyebrow. “You don’t believe that for a second. Come on. You can’t tell me you didn’t feel it. He’scrazyabout you. I could see it in the way he touched you. He’s not left because it wasjustsex.”

I pull the blanket tighter around myself and shiver. I want to believe it could be more. That it’s not just about a deal or the inevitable marriage. But I don’t know how to let myself go there. Not with him, not after all the walls I’ve built.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m not fooling myself into thinking it’s anything more. We’ll wed and then he’ll go back to his life, and I’ll go back to mine. This isn’t some love story, Candy. I’m not you.”

She doesn’t argue, just sighs and gives me a look that says she’s not convinced, but she’s not going to push it. She pats myleg lightly before standing up. “You’ve got this. Don’t let him get inside your head. Don’t get inside your own head, Elle. You’re stronger than that. Now get up. You’ve got a date to get ready for.”

A date. Of course she knows, I bet the filthy bitch was watching on the security cameras the entire time.

I nod slowly, pulling the blanket off and stepping out of bed, letting the cold air hit my skin.

Candy gives me one last, reassuring look before slipping out. “Just remember, you’re not in this alone, Elle,” she says, her voice softer than usual. But I’m already too lost in my own thoughts to respond.

I’ve got to stop obsessing over Seb. He’s not the one who matters right now. I have a life to live. A life I’m starting to like more and more – especially if it means I can have more experiences like the one here last night at the club. Getting married to him doesn’t have to change that.

I glance at the clock. I still have time before I need to meet him, so I take a slow breath and start moving.

I won’t let him change me.

I head into the adjoining bathroom, turning the shower on and letting the water heat, while I tuck my hair into a complimentary shower cap.

Stepping into the spray, the warm water rushes over me. I close my eyes and let the sound of it drown out everything else. The confusion, the hurt, the questions swirling around in my mind. The only thing that matters right now is what comes next. Sure, Seb left, but we still have plans, so that’s something at least.

I don’t want some extravagant, fancy date. I don’t want a show or a performance. I just want something real – something that feels...normal. No pretences. Just a day together, no strings attached.

When I’m done, Candy has gone, but she’s left my overnight bag on the bed, which has already been stripped clean. We had hoped I might end up staying the night, but I didn’t expect it to be like this. I pick out a simple outfit – a fitted white sweater that shows off just enough of my collarbones, a pair of skinny jeans, and boots that I know Seb will like. It’s not fancy, but it’s me, and I did pack several options. It’s also how I want to feel today: comfortable, in control, and not trying to impress anyone.

I do my makeup in soft, natural tones, just enough to highlight my features without overdoing it. I leave my hair down, letting it fall in loose waves around my shoulders. It’s nothing special, but it’sme. The me I never let anyone see, because god forbid there was a hair out of place once I stepped outside.

When I finish getting ready, I take a long look at myself in the mirror. Who is this person looking back at me? I barely recognise her anymore. But at least she’s not pretending to be something she’s not.

I grab my coat, phone and check the time – just enough to make it home to drop off my bag without being late. As I walk out the door, I take one last look at the room, taking a steadying breath. It’s a beautiful space. One I didn’t get time to appreciate fully last night. But one I hope I can revisit.

Because this isn’t just about Seb. It’s about me, too. And now I’ve had a taste of ‘For Me’, I want more.

I head out, my nerves tightening as I think about the day ahead. Seb’s going to be there. But I’m going to keep my head straight. No expectations. No fairy tale. Just a simple day – one that’ll help me remember who I am, without getting caught up in whatever he wants me to be.

The cool air hits my face as I step outside, and I pull on my coat. My fingers gripping the collar as I pull it tighter around me. It feels grounding, like a reminder that the world is still turning,that everything is still moving forward, even if my mind is stuck in this fog of uncertainty.

Candy must have ordered a car for me while I was getting ready, as it’s waiting just outside. I make my way home and take a steadying breath before the buzzer goes. I tell myself over and over, this is just another day. It’s not a big deal. It’s just a date.