Page 42 of Reckless Love
“We love everybody. And I don’t judge Rhodes for the lifestyle he leads, that’s between him and God. But that doesn’t mean he’s the right man for you!” My mom’s voiceraises and I glance at Bernard, who is sitting smugly in his seat.
I expect him to toss popcorn in his mouth at any moment.
I shake my head. “You may think you’re not judging him, but you are. You always have. I can’t believe you’re doing this right now. But since you are, I’m just going to say it so youallhear me…I’m with Rhodes. He is the best man I know. He always has been, and I wish you’d be happy that we have…what we have.”
Okay, that wasn’t the best declaration I could make, but I’m flailing here.
“He doesn’t deserve you,” Bernard says.
“And you do?” It’s out of my mouth before I can stop it.
He flinches and looks afraid, like he’s just waiting for me to drop the secrets he’d never want my parents to know, but I don’t.
“No onedeserves you,” he hurries to add.
“Sweetheart, we just don’t want to see you get hurt,” my dad says. “Rhodes’ track record isn’t a good one. And the choices you’ve made lately…” He lifts his hand up in what I’m assuming is to call attention to my clothing choice this evening on top of all the other revelry I’m partaking in. “Well…it’s just not you. And I know the pull of the world is strong, but you’ve gotta resist…”
I pull the napkin off my lap and set it on the table. “I have an early morning tomorrow. I love you. Thank you for dinner tonight. It clarified some things for me,” I say, including Bernard, as I look around the room. “I’m not coming back to you, Bernard. I’m happy and I wish all of you could be happy for me.”
I stand up and walk out of the room. My mom follows me out.
“Are you really leaving?” she asks.
“Yes.” I turn and hug her.
Her face is getting blotchy, and I want to leave before she gets more upset.
“What if you and Bernard went to couples counseling?” she asks.
“If I go to couples counseling, it will be with Rhodes,” I tell her.
Her face looks stricken. “Are you moving in with him?”
Where did that come from?
“No, Mom. I just?—”
Her shoulders relax. “Then there’s still hope. Please keep an open mind, Elle. Remember that preacher that came through and predicted you’d be with Bernard…”
I remember it well because it messed with me so much to be told by a visiting preacher in front of our whole church congregation that it was God’s will for me to marry Bernard.
“I remember,” I say softly. “Doyouremember that it’s recently come out that that man has had affairs with women all over this country? You think his wife thinks it’s God’s will that they’re still together?”
“We can’t judge them for trying to make their marriage work,” she says, folding her arms.
I swallow and nod, knowing that this conversation is going nowhere.
“I love you,” I say softly. “I’m gonna head out.”
I turn and leave before she can stop me. Once I’m in the car, I select Rhodes’ number and his voice fills the car when he answers.
“There you are. I thought I’d scared you off for good with all my sexy man jokes.”
“No, sorry, I?—”
“What’s wrong?”
He’s always known with one word, one look, if I’m upset.