Page 66 of Reckless Love
He steps closer and pulls me closer to him by the belt loop on my jeans. My stomach flip-flops and my heartbeat skips ahead.
“I trust you with my life too,” he says. “What’s one secret about you that I don’t know?”
With him standing so close, it’s like I’m on a pheromone high.
“I’ve never admitted…to you…that you were right about the vibrator and the puny men in my life.”
He lets out a surprised sound—half-cough, half-laugh. “How so?”
“You said…if they were so good, I wouldn’t need one, and…you were right. Not necessarily that they’ve been puny, but maybe just didn’t know…”
“How to work with what they had,” he finishes, a husky laugh sending skitters down my arms.
He notices and runs his hands over my arms like he’s trying to warm me up.
“Do you need someone to love that body right, Elle?” His expression has turned serious now and I could swear we’re standing closer to each other than we were a second ago.
“What do you mean?” I laugh awkwardly and try to play dumb.
“You know what I mean. I think we should go there, Elle. Don't you know we’re gonna wonder if we don’t? You know what? No, I'm not gonna wonder. I already know we are going to be so fucking good. I'm just ready for you to realize it.”
“What are you saying, Rhodes? This is…this is crazy. I can’t…we can’t...I can't stay here if that's what you think this is going to be.”
I don’t think I can survive it if I experience sex with Rhodes and he realizes he doesn’t really want more than a one-night stand. But at the same time, do I want to go my whole life and not know what it’s like to be with him like that?
No, I don’t.
He puts his hand on my face and leans in until his forehead touches mine.
“Baby, when are you gonna see it? I'm tired of waiting for you to see me standing here, only wanting you. I've been patient for so long. I don't think I can wait another day to—fuck, yes, I can. I’ve waited for thirteen years.” His lips lift and I want to lean in and kiss them. “I’ll wait however long it takes for you to know how I feel about you. I just don’twantto wait anymore.” His eyes don’t leave mine.
“What do youmean?” I whisper. “How do you feel?”
I back away slightly so I can read his expression better. A flash of fear crosses his face, but it’s gone so fast and replaced with something more like determination.
“I don't care how we phrase it, whether you want to pretend this is a fake relationship for your parents and Bernard, or…if it’s more than that and you’re ready to give us a real chance. That’s what I really want, a life with you, arelationshipwith you. I’m afraid I’d scare you off if you knew how much I want that. But I’ll takewhatever you want to give me. We can test the waters slowly. For now, just let me show you how good it can be between us.”
“Things never line up for us, Rhodes,” I say. “There’s a reason we’ve gone this long without going there. We’re friends and we don’t want to wreck that.”
“They’re lining up now.”
“But—”
“No buts,” he says. “I know you want more. You’re scared, and I am too, but you will never lose me. We will always be friends. I hope to change your mind, and convince you that we can be more than that, but we can focus on the physical for now.” He reaches out and slides his thumb over my lips, staring at my mouth. “You came so fast before—I’d barely even touched you. Your body is begging for me. We’ve always been able to talk about everything else. Why can’t we talk about this? You don’t have to decide what you want with me long-term. It's okay. But I’m in this. I love you, Elle. I’ll take whatever I can get. We’re perfect in every way.”
Somehow while he’s been talking, our bodies have moved together as if they’ve got a mind of their own. A mind that’s giving the middle finger to any resistance I might have left. He’s saying all I’ve ever wanted him to say. Is this really happening? Our lips are barely a breath apart. My hands are around his neck and his body is flush against mine. I can feel how much he wants me, and I let out a whimper.
His lips are on mine in the next second and it’s like the most perfect choreography, the way everything falls into place while simultaneously exploding. We fit. The way our lips and tongues and teeth and hands and bodies come alive when we touch is the most beautiful dance. I kiss him with every ounce of longing I’ve been holding back. The years ofwishing I could do this and it coming true are almost too much. He picks me up and my legs wrap around his waist, my head falling back for a second when I feel him against my core.
“Rhodes,” I whimper before my mouth finds his again.
We kiss and kiss and kiss and my hips buck against him. His hands grip my ass and he rubs me against him until we’re moving with a steady rhythm.
“Take what you want, Elle. I’ve got more. I’m gonna do this all night?—”
He slides his fingers under my yoga pants and dips into me once before sliding back to my clit and staying there with the perfect amount of pressure. Oh, he’s so good at this.
I cry out, coming embarrassingly fast like I did the first time he touched me.