Page 31 of My Beastly Duke

Taking a deep breath, she readied herself for a fight before turning the handle and stepping inside. The sharp gasp that escaped her throat when she caught sight of her husband’s bare back filled the air with a quiet unease.

“I thought I told you that there is nothing more to be said between us.” He spoke to her quietly without turning around. His large frame was leaning against the mantle of the fireplace as if he had been staring into the non-existent fire.

“I… Aaron, I did not realize that…” Her voice suddenly became choked with emotion as she took in the full extent of his scarred back. The thick map of knots looked as if someone had repeatedly beaten him with a whip.

Turning around, he faced her with a distant look in his eyes. “Did not realize what? That I am a deformed monster all over? Well, now you know.” His eyes grew even colder as he reached for the cotton shirt that had been flung over the back of a chair.

Shutting the door behind her, Marina quickly came forward and stopped him from lifting the shirt over his head. “You are not a monster, Aaron, I just did not know why you kept pushing me away. I understand now that you never wanted me to see those scars, but they do not frighten me.” The sound of his name on her lips felt completely natural to her as she held his gaze.

He swallowed and took a deep breath. “I should never have trapped you into a marriage with a monster like me.” His voice sounded vulnerable for the very first time since Marina had met him.

Reaching up, she placed her hand over his scarred cheek, refusing to back away when he flinched. “You did not trap me into marriage. I needed this marriage as much as you did, and I do not regret it.”

A strange look of compassion clouded his eyes as he lowered the hand that he had intended to stop her with.

“How did you get those scars? Was it from war?” Her mind filled with grotesque images of torture as the sound of men screaming in pain rang in her ears. Had he been captured by the enemy? Her heart broke for the hours upon hours and anguish that he must have endured.

Shaking his head, Aaron placed his hand over hers, cupping her fingers against his cheek for a second before lowering her hand. “No, these scars were not from war. They were a gift from my father. An ever-present reminder that competition was far more valuable than Adam and I ever were to him.”

Dread filled her body as an icy chill ran through her veins. What kind of father would do that to his sons? “Aaron, I am so sorry.” She shook her head and lifted her hands to cover her mouth, utterly shocked at what she was hearing.

“I told you; I do not desire your pity.” Turning away from her again, he walked back to the fireplace and rested his arm on the mantle. “My father would constantly pit us against one another as boys. Whoever lost, got the end of his whip.” The distance in his voice made her want to pull him into her arms, yet she knew that he would likely push her away. There was still a barrier between them that needed to be broken down.

“Does your brother have the same scars that you do?” She asked him gently, wanting to reach out while respecting hisboundaries. The man she had married was a far more complex individual than even she had realized.

“No, I would let him win most of the time so that I would get the beating. He wanted nothing more than to please our father. Pitting us against one another only served to cause a rift between us. Adam and I have never been able to see eye to eye on any matter.” His voice held a note of bitterness that had not gone unnoticed by Marina.

“Does Adam know what you did for him?” She swallowed hard at the thought of all the beatings Aaron had endured on his brother’s behalf. There was something worse about knowing that the beatings had come from a man that should have protected his sons, rather than an enemy at war.

Pushing himself off of the mantle, Aaron drew the tip of his finger over the scar on his cheek. “I would never burden him with such a debt. The burdens I carry are far too heavy for anyone else.”

“But if you tried… You would no longer feel the need to push us away. Any of us.” She shook her head and came forward aching for the pain and loneliness that he must have been enduring for years.

“I have handled it on my own this far, there is no reason to change things now.” He raised his gaze to meet hers. The stubborn look of resilience in his eyes matched the icy indifference of his tone.

He has been hurt so many times.

She recalled the fact that he had once been betrothed before they had met. Had the girl rejected him after learning the truth?

“The scar on my face is not from the beatings.” He held her gaze as if he could read her mind, and Marina suddenly realized that she had been staring.

“None of your scars bother me, Aaron. I hope you believe me,” she pleaded with him as he made his way to a chair, slumping down in the cushions.

Her words did not seem to have an effect as he ran his fingers over the lengthy scar. “Adam and I used to live to win. All we ever cared about was who could be the best at riding or badminton. We even went as far as enlisting in the war against the French.”

Feeling compelled by the story, Marina chose the chair opposite Aaron and sat, listening intently to what he had to say.

“War was nothing more than a game to us. Who could kill the most enemy soldiers? How many battles were won solely because of our valor? An unfortunate result of my father’s teachings. Had I known then what I know now, I would have taken things more seriously. War is no game, and neither is there honor in taking another man’s life.”

The tense way that he stared past and into the empty fireplace, sent chills down Marina’s spine.

“I still recall the battle as if it were yesterday. Adam and were both junior officers, more so because of privileged births than anything else. The battle had just started when Adam declared that he had gotten the most kills of the past week. Being the stupid child that I was, I let it get to me as I forged a path ahead with my blade.”

The slicing motion that he made through the air, made her throat feel dry as she pictured what, or rather who had been at the other end of the blade.

“It was not until much later in the day that I realized Adam had been missing. I had gotten so caught up in the game, that I had failed to check on him. Panic-stricken, I charged around the many dead bodies. Some of our own men, but mostly those of the French. It took me a while, but I finally found him, laying in the dirt on his back with an enemy blade pointed at his throat.”

“And you saved him…” Marina suddenly felt the tears stinging the back of her eyes as so much of his cold personality made sense to her.