Page 23 of My Ruthless Duke
She was going to work herself up, Cordelia could see it coming.
“And then he left me,” Lavinia continued, the tears streaming down her cheeks right on cue. She drank the rest of her wine in a single gulp before wildly waving her arm for a refill in the direction of the closest servant. The footman looked to Dorian for permission to pour the refill, and he subtly shook his head no. “He abandoned me! Just like that! He was there one moment, doting, and then I am bereft! How could any woman ever hope to recover after such a loss!”
“Mama, settle down.” Cordelia attempted, glancing at Georgie who was starting to look scared.
“He is a pig!” Lavinia continued, no signs of slowing. When her glass was not refilled, she threw it across the room, where it shattered against the floor. Georgie yelped and hid into Mary’s side. Cordelia was nearly brought to tears herself from the display. “A wretched, horrid… horrible… man… excuse for a…”
Lavinia put her head into her arms, sobbing heavily into her arms.
Cordelia did not know what to do. She was at a loss as to how to settle her down. “Mama, calm down, please. Oh, I know! His Grace knew Papa, did you not?”
With pleading eyes, she was begging Dorian to help her, to at least diffuse the situation even slightly.
Lavinia’s head perked up instantly, suddenly dry of tears. “You did, Your Grace? I was not aware.”
Dorian looked highly uncomfortable for the focus of their conversation to be back on him again. “Briefly.”
Why did he look so pained? Did he truly have such an issue with her family? Or, was he just that reluctant to share even the smallest bit of information about his affairs with her? The room was so quiet that one could have heard a pin drop.
When it became apparent that he was not going to share anything else, not even the smallest anecdote to keep Lavinia calm, Cordelia attempted to pick up the slack. “Papa was always there for my mother. He was incredibly doting, almost over the top most of the time. You can understand why the loss of such a great love would be so detrimental to her.”
Lavinia bowed her head toward the table, pushing the untouched food around her plate mutely.
“It was so unexpected. No matter what he might have been facing, he was never one to allow the troubles of the world get to him in such a way that–” The knot in Cordelia’s chest tightened. She had been dealing with her mother’s grief for so long that sometimes she forgot that she had her own, as well. “It was a shock when he took his own life. It still is.”
Dorian shifted in his seat uncomfortably. No doubt the weight of the topic was uncomfortable for him. She could not explain why it was so important that he understand her mother, or why things were the way that they were. He certainly had not given any indication that her feelings or history was important to him, or even that she was important to him beyond the fact that he had married her.
“If you have any insight, or perhaps if there was something that happened in your time knowing my father that would help us understand why he did what he did and…”
Dorian shook his head. She knew that he was attempting to dismiss her. He was attempting to tell her to change the subjector that he did not wish to discuss it. But the topic was open and she was not ready to move on so quickly.
“If something happened that was hidden from us, or if there was a warning sign that was missed or—or anything that could help my mother find some semblance of closure, I know that she would–”
“Stop. Please.” Dorian interjected.
The words were not angry, they were tired and strained. It was the rare softness in his words that brought her up silent. And yet, she could not let the subject drop.
“But, Your Grace, you told me that you were acquainted with–”
“Enough!”
Dorian pushed away from the table. Dinner was not yet half finished and something hurt about the way he was just choosing to leave the conversation without further explanation. He could have this conversation with her. He could at least explain why it was because of her father that he had married her. That he had brought her to this huge empty house to languish and rot all alone. If he could not stand the sight of her, if he did not desire her, then what was the point? She needed a reason. She needed something.
“I was not friends with your father. I do not aim to disappoint you, but that is simply the fact. Now, I am tired. I am goingto bed,” Dorian said firmly like everybody in the room was just going to have to accept it.
Like hell she was.
Dorian walked out of the room, his strides even and with purpose.
It took Cordelia only half a heartbeat to rise and follow him. His temper could be damned. She was owed an explanation. Frustration threatened to boil over inside of her as she followed him down one hallway and then the next.
“Your Grace! Stop! I am not finished with this conversation!” Cordelia called to his retreating back.
“I am. Return to dinner; I have no desire to speak with you any further.”
Dorian turned into the library and attempted to close the door before she could follow him, but her hands lifted to stop the door from shutting so firmly that it rebounded and nearly hit him.
She felt foolish for crying but she could not help herself, she was so overwhelmed and confused.