Page 58 of The Hero She Loves

Jenna heated up the food, and passed him a bowl filled with pasta.

He took a mouthful. “Definitely better.”

She ate some of her own dinner. She looked lost in thought.

“You all right?” he asked.

She sighed. “So much death. For what? My marshals were good men, with families. Now, they’re gone. The Hoskins were innocent. What is so broken in Kyle Olson for him to want to do this?”

“Killing gives him a thrill, some sort of sick pleasure. Maybe he can’t feel anything else.” Park paused. “I was good at killing. When I left Ghost Ops… I wondered if I was broken.”

“You’renothinglike Kyle Olson, Park.”

“For so long, what I did felt right, I had a purpose. I felt I was helping in a way that only I could. I was fighting so others didn’t have to. Then after my torture, when I woke up in the hospital…” He touched the scars on his neck. “After that, everything felt wrong. I was alive, and other good men and women weren’t. I had nightmares and didn’t want anyone to touch me. I was numb and I wanted to stay that way.”

“It’s not your fault. What you went through, losing your friends. The blame is on the insurgents who killed them.” She reached over and touched his neck, her fingers gentle on his scars. “The men who hurt you.”

“The guilt. It’s so huge sometimes. Those guys were so young, so innocent, in a way. They joined the Army to pay for college, to belong, to have an adventure. It ended in blood.”

She took his hand and squeezed.

“You were right. Coming to Alaska…I was running. Vander warned me.” Park turned her hand over, entwining their fingers. “Watching you struggle with the guilt over your marshals, grieving for the Hoskins, I guess it made me realize that what I felt was normal. That eventually, I’ll work through the guilt and everything else. I couldn’t change what happened to my fellow soldiers, couldn’t change what happened to me.”

“You need to remember them, Park, but you also need to remember that life goes on.” Her thumb brushed over his wrist. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

His chest felt tight. It still hurt to talk about it, but the words welled up inside him.

“Leo was a real character. Always making jokes. Roger was quiet and huge. He had to duck every time he entered a room. And Mitch was the serious, studious one. He liked to game. Kristy was tough as nails and kept the others in line. You’d have liked her.”

“Sounds like my kind of person.”

“I was only supposed to be attached to their regiment for a few weeks. They called me the boogeyman.” He went silent, staring into the darkness. “They accepted me, even though I’m not the most talkative person.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

He tugged on the end of her braid. “We went looking for a Taliban leader. He was high up the food chain, and we got word that he was hiding in a certain village. I was scouting the outskirts, while the others went in.” He swallowed. He could almost feel the hot Afghan sun on his skin again. “It should have been a simple mission. Instead, I found a boy hiding in a field. His family was hiding close by, as well. I gave him some chocolate, and he told me that bad men had come to the village, and planted a bomb for the Americans.” The air shuddered out of him. “I ran. They were walking into a trap. I couldn’t raise them on the comms, and I knew the Taliban were jamming our signal.”

Her hand tightened on his. “You ran back into a bomb zone.”

“I had to try and save them.”

She squeezed his hand. “Of course you did.”

“I was getting close to the center of the village. It was eerily quiet. I saw the others on the other side the square, about to breach a building. I yelled. They looked up… And the bomb went off.”

“I’m so sorry, Park.”

“I came to with my ears ringing. I was hurt and couldn’t move.” He’d been hit by hot shrapnel and the pain had been bad. “There were just…body parts around me.”

“Park.” She pushed into his arms. “You have to remember them as they were. Not like that.”

“I try.” He held her tight. “Then the Taliban came. They were gloating about the kills, then they took me prisoner.”

“I’m sorry.”

“They kept me in a cell for twenty-two days.”

She leaned into him.