Page 40 of The Loophole
“I know this is a big bombshell, which is why I was waiting to tell you in person. But there it is. I got married two weeks ago, to a sweet, beautiful man named Embry.” I held up my hand to show him the wedding ring. “He’s looking forward to meeting you.”
He took that in for a long moment. Then he surprised me by grinning and exclaiming, “Your Great Uncle Charles owes me five bucks!”
“Why?”
“We had a bet going. I said you were gay, and he said you were just shy around the ladies. I’ve finally been proven right.”
What the actual fuck?“You were placing bets on my sexuality?”
“Well, sure. This was five, six years ago. You were well over thirty by that point and had yet to bring a girl home to meet the family. Naturally, I put two and two together.” And he’d completely gotten the wrong number!
“I can’t believe this.”
“Don’t worry, son. I’m not one of those closed-minded old coots who has a problem with homosexuals. I’ve been expecting this news for ages, so I’ve had time to come to terms with it.”
“First of all, I’m bisexual, not gay.” I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to make that point. Maybe it was because I’d mentioned going out with women in the past, and I wanted him to know that hadn’t been some sort of elaborate ruse.
“Same thing.”
“No, it isn’t. And I can’t believe you bet on me like it’s the Kentucky Derby, and I’m Seabiscuit!”
Embry, who’d been watching this whole conversation closely, whispered, “Seabiscuit never ran in the Kentucky Derby.”
I turned to him and asked, “Why do you know that?”
Embry shrugged, and my grandfather asked me, “Is he there with you now?”
I felt like I was rapidly losing control of this conversation. “Of course. Like I said, we’re married, so we’re obviously living together.”
“Why would you get married and keep it a secret?”
“We eloped to Las Vegas and didn’t tell anyone, apart from a handful of friends.”
“But not me, your own flesh and blood.”
“I wanted to tell the whole family in person, when we all met up at Christmas.”
“I still don’t understand why you wouldn’t come to me first, but that’s not important right now.” He made some sort of rolling gesture with his free hand. “Come on, then. Put your young man on the phone. I want to meet him.”
I glanced at Embry, who was looking amused, and asked, “Are you up for a quick video chat with my granddad?”
Embry immediately dove into the frame and threw his arm around me. “It’s such a pleasure to finally get to meet you, Mr. Baudelaire,” he gushed. “Bry goes on and on about you.”
“Hang on, I need to see you clearly.” My screen filled with a view of my grandfather’s ceiling for a few moments, while we heard him rummaging around. When he reappeared, he was wearing his glasses, but he still held the phone very close to his face as he scrutinized Embry. “You’re a good-looking young man,” he finally said. “But do you mind if I ask how old you are?”
“I’m twenty-eight, sir.”
“That’s a relief. For a minute there, I thought Bryson had gone out and found himself a college student. But a nine-year age gap, that’s not so bad. Now, listen. I know you two must have thought it was terribly exciting to elope, but don’t you want a big, romantic wedding ceremony?” That was directed at Embry, not me. He already knew my answer. “We can call the first wedding practice and have the real one here, at my brother’s vineyard in the springtime.”
Embry was pure, doe-eyed innocence as he said, “Our wedding was very romantic, sir. I get nervous sometimes and don’t do well with crowds, so Bryson made sure the ceremony was just the way I wanted it.”
“That’s lovely, but I wish you’d included me. Didn’t you think I’d approve?”
“We didn’t know.”
“Well, now you do, and I want to welcome you to the family, Embry.”
“Thank you, sir.”