Page 101 of Modern Romance January 2025 5-8

Her friends would be appalled. But they would understand. They all worked so hard. They all had their own issues, their own demons. Their own hang-ups when it came to men. Surely they wouldn’t resent her trying to reclaim some of what had been lost to her.

“Take me,” she said.

“I will. Don’t you worry.”

CHAPTER SEVEN

THISWASAvery bad idea, and he knew it. But he was gripped with need. He didn’t want her to know what a terribly rare thing this was. Yes, he enjoyed sex, he enjoyed women. He was not the sort of man to allow himself to be taken in like this. He did the seducing, not the other way around. And having a woman, a virgin, affect him in this way was...

It was...

He knew he shouldn’t want it. He knew he shouldn’t want her purity. That he shouldn’t want to be the first person to ever touch her, to ever take her, to ever show her what pleasure meant.

She had captivated him from the first moment he’d seen her. And then again at his house, and again when she’d had this makeover. And it was something other than beauty.

He just... He just wanted her. After the conversation with his father today, he wanted something to distract him, but not in the same sort of way he often craved mindless desire.

It was something new. Something different. And for a man like him novelty was an art.

A rare gift, and he intended to seize it. Intended to have this moment out of time.

As if you deserve it.

Everything felt raw and close to the surface, but that made him want this even more. He had a feeling that she saw him. More the real him than most women did. Than most anybody did.

And yet she still wanted him. Perhaps, she even wanted him because of it, and there was something about that that drove him now.

They left the restaurant, hand in hand, they didn’t stay out as long as they should have. The entire point of this was to put on a show. But he found himself growing impatient. He took her hand and led her to the car. And once they were inside, he gripped her face, forcing her to stare into his eyes. “What is it you want from me?”

“Nothing,” she said breathless. “Nothing more than you.”

“And what do you see when you look at me?”

She searched his gaze.

“A beautiful man. But a troubled one.”

“Not wrong. And you want me anyway?”

“I find you fascinating.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” she said. She was being honest, he could tell.

“Maybe you just waited to have sex too long, and you think that I’ll make it good.”

“Yes. But that’s not... No offense, but there are many good-looking men. I went to college with quite a few.”

“As good-looking as I am?”

“Maybe not,” she said, shaking her head. “But if all I was after was a handsome man, I wouldn’t be a twenty-five-year-old virgin.”

“So tell me that. You’re a virgin. You steadfastly refused to have sex with me just earlier today. Why now?”

“Because you made me feel special. And I don’t care if it’s real or not. I don’t care if it’s true. That’s why I need it to be tonight, in fact. Because I want to stay in this dream. I want to be the person that’s seen. Do you understand? That has never been me. That’s never been my life. I am the wallpaper, Matias. Always and ever. I am the woman who blends in, the woman that serves drinks, the woman who assists. The child that brings medication, and makes doctor appointments, but I am never wholly myself. Or special. Or wanted. And you make me feel like I could be. I just want that. For a while.”

He wanted the same, he realized. Because she looked at him and saw someone who might treat her right. Might give her something real, something good, and he wanted to be that fantasy for a while. More than just a fantasy of good sex, more than just seduction. He wanted to have the same fantasy she was having. Because maybe, just maybe, they were both special in that world. Maybe she mattered and he wasn’t beyond redemption. Just maybe.