Page 10 of Delicious Surrender
“I guess I had something to prove. Maybe I wanted all the boys to know they missed out on a gem, so I went down on himlike a champion. When he came, I swallowed because I thought only a wimp would spit!”
Patricia clapped her hands and laughed. “That is fabulous! Did he worship the ground you walked on after that?”
Brynne’s smile faltered. “No, actually. We dated for a few weeks, until I found out he was seeing another girl.”
“That little shit!” Patricia exclaimed.
“Yeah.” The memories came flooding back. That was the first of many disappointing experiences with boys.
She looked at her quizzically. “So, you were still a virgin by the end of high school?”
Smiling playfully, Brynne replied, “Absolutely! My dad always told me to keep my legs closed. So instead, I opened my mouth!” Laughing, she added, “I’m sure that’s not what he intended.”
“I bet not! Your experiences were pretty limited up to that point. Did you go crazy at university?”
“No, not really. In year two, my dad was diagnosed with cancer, so I switched to part-time. I was helping at home, so I dated very little. My only boyfriend was cautious and dependable. Basically, I called all the shots. I popped my cherry with him but got bored a month later and broke up with him. My girlfriends called me the man eater because after that I never dated a guy more than three times. When they wanted more, I ditched them. By graduation, I’d found erotica and a five-speed vibrator, but had no clue what I wanted in a man.”
Patricia poured them each more sherry and asked withoutpreamble, “Tell me what you think about when you masturbate.”
OMG. She’d only shared that once, and it turned out badly. Those secrets remained in a mythical lockbox under her bed.
When she remained mute, Patricia reassured her, “There’s nothing I haven’t heard, Brynne. If you haven’t read the bookMy Secret Gardenby Nancy Friday, I will lend you my copy.” She retrieved a worn paperback from her bookshelf and handed it to Brynne. “Fantasies can be an accelerant to help ignite your desires. We all have them—and you’ll see they run the gamut.”
“I’ve never heard of this book.” She handled it gently as the binding was coming apart and pages were loose.
“That’s because they published it before you were born, dear.” Patricia grinned. “It did for a generation whatFifty Shadesdid for this one. It proved women think about sex as much as men. Our fantasies are vivid, integral parts of our sexuality.”
Brynne carefully considered what she said next. “I have a recurring fantasy of being helpless and unable to stop what is happening because I’m tied down. Sometimes I’m kidnapped or overpowered by a man who is bent on having his way with me…not by force, but by arousing me against my will.”
She saw no shock or judgment on Patricia’s face but wasn’t willing to divulge any of her other deviant thoughts. Those would remain unacknowledged for now.
“I am glad you feel comfortable sharing your experiences with me, Brynne. I think I know what you need. You had a lot of responsibility as a young girl—the man who was supposed to take care of you couldn’t, and no one has made you feel safe andcared for.”
Patricia’s eyes were dark and hypnotic, and she couldn’t look away. “Mmm. It would be wonderful to stop worrying and let go.”
Her expression changed, and Brynne felt the imperceptible shift. “We have both been drinking, so I cannot take you into the playroom now.”
She couldn’t hide her disappointment. She wanted it so badly she could taste it.
“That doesn’t mean we can’t see if you can surrender some of that ironclad control.”
Brynne waited, holding her breath.
“Get on your knees and come here.” She pointed to the floor at her feet.
Her breathing stalled; her eyes wide.
“As a rule, I don’t ask twice. I expect immediate obedience, or you will be punished.”
Brynne scrambled to the floor and kept her eyes down. Patricia had morphed into a Domme before her eyes.
She reached across and undid Brynne’s hair. “What a beautiful shade of red.” She moved closer and took her time running her fingers through it. “Is it natural, or will I find another color down below?”
Brynne whispered, her mouth suddenly dry, “It’s mine. My natural color, I mean. Mistress.”
Patricia smiled. “Have you ever been with a woman, Brynne?”
She shook her head and bit her lip.