Page 101 of Knot a Bad Idea

I pause.

“There are too many things I’m feeling,” I admit.

But my inner Omega has the loudest, most primal feelings of all.

This isn’t just an apology from Donovan.

It’s a gesture of something much more.

“I’m thinking that I’ve never met someone with a bigger heart than Liam,” I say quietly. “And I’ve never met someone that wants me to succeed as much he does. And that Hunter matches my wit and makes me adventurous. Both of them make me feel safe to just be…me.”

I fiddle with the locks on the knobs, swallowing nervously.

“With Donovan, it’s like I’m looking in the mirror. He’s someone that beats himself up for never being enough. He’s convinced he’s fundamentally flawed. And maybe he is, but so am I.”

Skylar starts to protest, but I cut her off.

“You see me through rose-colored glasses, Skylar. You put me on a pedestal I don’t deserve, constantly. I’ve been a shit friend to you for the past few months. I’ve even been downright mean sometimes, and you, Devyn, and my mom just take it. And I don’t understand.”

“Because you’re a good person, dumbass,” Skylar says, choking up. “Underneath it all, you’regood. We both had shitty hands dealt to us, and?—

“I came back wrong, Skylar,” I mutter, staring intently at the lock.

“What do you mean,wrong?”

I shake my head. “I mean wrong. Defective. Something is fundamentally not right with me anymore.”

Donovan’s face flashes in my mind. I remember the self-loathing in his eyes as he told me he could never save me.

Maybe we are the same person, hating ourselves so much that we sabotage our futures.

My best friend scoffs. “If I said the same thing to you about myself, what would you say to me?”

I answer without a second thought. “I would say you’re an idiot, and that we adapt to our circumstances.”

I turn to face her, and she raises an eyebrow.

“It’s different with you, Skylar.” I try to backtrack, but she doesn’t let me.

“No, it’s not. Now take your own advice. Trust me when I tell you that you’re stillyou, just with new life experiences. And a box of locks from some emotionally stunted Alpha that’s madly in love with you.”

I choke out a bitter laugh. “Skylar, he doesn’tloveme.”

“I’m pretty sure all three of them love you, April. You are pretty loveable, believe it or not. River says he wishes I would talk about him the way I talk about you.”

I laugh. “Rose-colored glasses.”

“If you say so. So, now what?” She motions to the mess on the ground. “You’re still going to the wedding, right?”

How could I not after this?

I don’t think I can forgive Donovan just yet, but I miss him.

I miss all three of them.

And even if it’s just to say goodbye to them, I want to see them.

“Of course I am,” I murmur. “There is one problem, though.”