Page 14 of Knot a Bad Idea

She shakes her head. “I dreamed up somewhere to go where I was safe. And that place was in a kitchen with my family,” she says bitterly.

I frown. “Why do you judge yourself for that, baby?” I ask her softly. “You went to the safest place in your mind you could go.”

She looks at me, bewildered. “How do you not think that’s immature or childish?”

“Who the fuck am I to judge your coping mechanisms?” I stare at her with my head cocked. “Baby…you went through fucking hell, and you survived it. You think I’m going to look at you differently for that? If anything, Iadmireyou.”

But I can tell she doesn’t believe me. “I could have done more. Been better.”

I frown. “Could have done more how?”

“I don’t know,” she answers softly, wringing her hands and looking down. “I could have come back better.”

Words fail me. “Baby, what the fuck?”

Good one, idiot.

“I don’t…” her voice wavers slightly, and I want to scoop her into my arms. “You would have liked me better if you met me before this.”

“That’s not fucking possible,” I promise her, reaching out to cup her cheek. “You areperfect.”

She raises an eyebrow in disbelief.

“Perfect for me,” I amend, because I know she’ll never believe me otherwise.

But sheis.That’s the most frustrating part.

“I know,” I breathe, my lips inches from hers, “that I can’t make you see yourself the way I see you. But holy fuck, baby…you’reeverything. Everything I could fucking want.”

She doesn’t believe me. It’s in her eyes, the way she gazes at me sadly. “Donovan would have liked me better,” she whispers.

A low growl sounds in my throat.

Fucking Donovan. The bane of my existence, the infuriating best friend that needs to be chucked off a cliff.

Who is now making April question her self worth and how much we mean to her.

What a fucking mess.

So, I do the only thing I can think to do.

I kiss her.

I pour everything I have into that fucking kiss. I taste the seam of her lips, licking gently until she parts her mouth. She whimpers, moaning on my tongue, and when I pull back, both of us are breathing heavily.

“How do you feel now?” I ask her, panting against her lips.

She swallows. “I’m feeling a lot,” she breathes. “I’m not sure I can put everything into words.”

Ah. That I can work with.

I press a kiss to her forehead and step back. “Think you can paint it?”

A small smile spreads across her face.

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